Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Brad started the show by commenting on how pretty the theater is, that it was probably the most beautiful theater they'd ever played in. He also admired the chandelier, saying he wanted to take it home. He had no place to put it, but he wanted it. Colin then notified the audience that "This is the suck-up portion of the program."

Moving Bodies: Jim and Sue were chosen to move Brad and Colin through Germany as real estate appraisers. They stood still for a moment, as Colin studied the ground and deemed it "Gudt." Brad decided they should ride a motorcycle to the office so that Colin could write "Gudt" in his report. Sue seemed very tentative about touching Brad, so his head didn't move much. He was only able to walk using little tiny baby steps. Colin took about three steps, but they were normal-sized steps. The ride didn't go very far, either. Colin warned Brad to "Look out for the bump!" No one moved, so Brad yelled, "Missed it!" Brad took a sharp turn all by himself. Colin held on to Brad by his shoulders, then his arms just hovered around Brad's waist. "I'm not a homophobe. I just don't want to touch you," he explained.
Colin and Brad then raced across the stage, with Colin taking a commanding lead. He shouted back, "Are you behind me?" Brad, toddling along with those baby steps, replied, "Waaaaaay behind." Suddenly he had a spurt of baby steps that brought him right up behind Colin so they were pressed back to front. Colin made an odd face, then remarked, "I didn't know you were circumcised." Brad answered, "SURPRISE!" The game ended with the obligatory Brokeback Mountain reference.

New Choice: Jessica, Rob, and Dan were the three kids pulled up for the horn-honking duties. Brad made a Clarabelle reference, some of the audience laughed, and Brad said, "Now we know who's over 50. That's the test." (Hey! I got the joke, too.) Brad then asked for a workplace for the scene and a voice cried out, "Sex Toy Shop!" Brad pointed to the kids on stage and said "HELLO!! Niiiice..." He ended up accepting a rending plant, and impressed himself by knowing what a rending plant does.
Highlights: Colin: What are you doing? Brad: I'm melting pig fat (HONK) I'm liquefying cow ass. Colin says they're going to be closing the plant. (HONK) They'll be opening another Starbucks. Brad decided he'd be a juggler instead and asked Colin for suggestions of things he could juggle. He replied blender, chainsaw, organ. (HONK) A rabbit, a cat, and Nitroglycerin. (HONK) A bowling ball, a ping pong ball, and his wallet. (HONK) I'd like to see you juggle three kids with horns. The kids were pretty ruthless on the horns, particularly Jessica. Brad had to write a poem about beers and got so many honks that he finally said it was about so many beers that the audience is now yelling suggestions. Brad mentioned he saw Colin's ex-wife. Colin said he gave her a gerbil. (HONK) She was a gerbil. Brad said he liked how she ran on the wheel, and Colin commented that he'd gotten it at the sex toy shop. (There weren't many honks on that gerbil exchange, but I love how the guys always manage to get in every suggestion they're given, regardless of whether it's the one they've officially accepted.)
Near the end of this game, Brad and Colin were each gesturing for the kids to keep honking, but I believe they could have kept still and those horns would have been honked anyway.

Double Dub: Kim and Brian were pulled up from the front row for this, with Brad doing Kim's voice and Colin doing Brian's. I had been talking to Kim before the show and she had asked me if they really picked people from the audience like she'd heard. I said yes, and she was like "Uh oh." But she said she'd do it for her husband? boyfriend? and she got her chance to prove it. I think Colin and Brad made Brian's night by bringing him up for this. He was cued to dance, he danced. He was cued to do some dramatic thing, he drama'd. He was great. Kim mostly did a lot of laughing, but that was Brad's fault. He was her voice and he kept having her "say" how gorgeous and handsome and sexy he was.
In "A Tale of Two Santas," Colin voiced Brad as a substitute Santa. Brad had Colin "say" how much he really wanted to be a reindeer. Really really wanted to be a reindeer. That he was into the leather straps and having the bit in his mouth. Colin and Brad messed with each other a lot for this game. Brad also got Kim to perform CPR on Colin, although she didn't actually get close enough to do it. LOL The moral of the story was that everyone has an inner reindeer.

Dr. Seuss: From the phonebook, Colin got "Jewelry contractors." Brad's interpretation was, "We'll make you a ring but it'll take three weeks, be way over budget, and you won't be able to use your kitchen." The audience liked that a lot.
Colin owned the jeweler's, and Brad came in to buy a ring.
Colin: I'll make you a goat diamond that will last/ We get it from the goat's ass. We also have a ruby/Made from a Doo of Scooby. This prompted Brad to ask, "What does a Scooby ruby do?" (Yes, it's a bad pun, but wait, it gets worse.)
Colin used a cow fax for something, and this was really funny to watch him use it, complete with a milking step. Brad then asked him, "Is it live or is it Moomerex." (That one got the biggest groan of the evening.) Colin and Brad wound up in a duel, Brad using a whale and Colin armed with a croquet ball. Lots of rhyming in here, including, from Colin, "I don't understand why your whale you flount/ When you seem to have a low sperm count." (Grooooan again.)
The funniest line of this game was when Colin told Brad to put away his whale. That just struck me as so silly, as I pictured putting away a whale.

Crime Scene Confession: Colin got Brad to confess that, "While wearing a crotchless space suit, a sports bra, and moose antlers, Brad strangled Gary Coleman with some yarn and double-parked a tank in Ogunquit at a waffle and sperm house with a hanger and a boomerang." (For the record, I was in a front row and could hear suggestions in back of me better than Colin could. Someone else yelled 'Crotchless,' but Colin couldn't hear them, so I yelled it. He gave me this funny look and I don't think I've blushed that hard in a loooong time.)
Before Brad came back, Colin mentioned the bracelets they had for sale and explained that all the proceeds went to support Gilda's club. Then Brad came back in and the fun was on.
Colin started out by saying we could all see Brad was a little nuts, and mentioned a description of Uranus. Brad guessed a crotchless telescope. Colin said he'd like to see what that looks like. (Me, too!) A few clues later, Colin came up with the vacuum out there. Brad's next guess was a crotchless Hoover, adding that that was money well spent. He gave himself the embarrassed giggles with that, and blushed a nice shade of pink to match. LOL After he got sports bra and then moose antlers, he did a fair impression of Bullwinkle. "Watch me pull a rabbit out of my spacesuit!" (I think that was a better judge of the age of the audience.)
For the crime, Colin gave a wool reference, from which Brad guessed that he strangled Gary Coleman with a sheep's ass. Colin said, "No, you nitwit!" and we had yarn. Then Colin told Brad to "Go with me on this, though I doubt you'll get it." He described Yosemite, then cloned it, but instead of getting double park, Brad first came up with Yo Yo Semite Semite.
Next was Colin's best clue, with "best" meaning "Damn, these two men work well together, but I'm afraid of their thought processes." Colin went into this big long description of 'a chinese restaurant with that big thing you hit with the mallets and the position for the person who has to hit it is very hard to fill because people keep leaving.' So what do you get? Gongquit. Damn. Adding A/O to it was anticlimactic.
And then it was "Laugh til you cry" time as Colin had to work on Brad to get "Waffle and Sperm House." I have no idea how many come and sperm references Colin used. I was laughing even before Colin could get some of the hints out because I could tell where he was going with them and it was just too funny for words. I was dying. Dying, I tell you. The million hints Colin had to give Brad for him to get "hanger" were silly, too, but you can't top "waffles and sperm."

Sentences:: Martial Arts Supplies in the style of Shakespeare. The sentences they had to work with were very basic, for the most part. "How are you?" type sentences. But there were a few charmers and they ran with them.

Colin: "Is that your tampon?" 'Such strange weapons the enemy uses.' Brad: 'Yes, there are strings attached.' Colin: 'At least these are light days.' And we were back in pun hell. LOL

Colin (what his wife says to him in bed): "I need a smoke!" 'Usually she says that afterwards. In the middle is...disconcerting.'

Brad: "Hey, good-looking!" Colin: 'That was in college!' (Lots of laughs on that one.)

Colin's "I lost my fucking keys again!" led to many chastity belt references. Very clever, guys.

Colin pulled one card that I guess had something written on each side of it, so he chose one: "Mayor Cicilline is sooo gay!" I myself didn't get it, but the local crowd sure did, cheering and/or groaning, not sure which. Brad wasn't sure, either. "I think half agree with you and half are offended."

This game went on for a while, lots of sentences and lots of puns, and every so often "Did you know the mayor is gay?" Then Colin pulled, "Hey, it's Captain Hair!" Lots of cheers, but the fun part was Colin just looking at Brad and Brad just looking at Colin with this little smile on his face. Finally Colin said, "C'mon! It's a free one!" But Brad didn't make one bald joke. Makes me think they made a bet or something. Heheheh.

Brad pulled "Would you like an order of sperm with your waffles?" He ripped that piece of paper into teeny tiny pieces. ICK.

Colin ended the scene with "Snack Happy!"

Brad picked Joe from the audience to Rap with and about. The biggest thing about Joe is what his wife's nickname for him is...DWF. Neither of them would tell Brad what it stood for. Brad was begging and pleading with them for even just the slightest hint, but no dice. So the majority of the rap was about how they wouldn't tell Brad was DFW stood for. Never did find out, either, as far as I know.

For Sound Effects, Erica did the sounds for Brad, and Mike did sounds for Colin. Colin ended up working all the weapons and machinery for "land surveying," because Brad apparently bought all his equipment from Whisper2000. Brad had a hidden talent, though. He could yodel. Impressively. So he did all the yodelling, for all the good it did them. Mike made some awesome sound effects, but we found his weak spot when Colin spotted a mountain lion. The lion says ROAR. ROAR. Not a roaring noise, mind you. Just Mike saying the word ROAR. Brad decided it was a Brokeback Mountain lion.

And finally, inevitably, there were Mousetraps. A suggestion of "Blowing up chickens" was interpreted by Colin as inflating balloon animals. Traps snapped and flew and, of the two of them, Brad has better aim with the traps. Or is just luckier. He was hitting Colin a lot more than Colin was hitting him. It was this observation that prompted me to shout to Colin, "A little harder!" when one of his throws fell short. Brad stopped dead, looked straight at me (okay, he was wearing the goggles, but damn, the man's instinct is good), and indignantly shouted, "A little harder???? Whose side are you on???" I'm glad those goggles were taped over. Heheheh.

After the fun and laughter of this evening, the standing ovation was no surprise at all.

Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

This show didn't start until about 8:15pm. At 8:10, the audience started clapping impatiently. I might have expected it from Friday's audience, but not this one, since the average age was significantly older this time around. Just before the guys were announced, their mics went on, because I could hear Greg talking, though I couldn't make out what he was saying. The usual introductions were made and it was on to the games. (These descriptions get long, because the games each went on for a long time. If it's true that they keep going as long as the laughs hold out, these scenes should never have ended.) (Watch the language, kiddies, this is verbatim in places.)

First up, Moving Bodies. Beth moved Brad, John got Colin, and Ed was paired up with Greg. Colin went through the basics of the game, using Brad as the human demo model. "Don't forget, he's human, so he only goes so far." Colin asked for a European country. I yelled Poland, he heard Holland, and we were off to gather tulips. Well, eventually. The guys stood and chatted, and it looked like a Shakespearean soliloquy at first, because no one moved at all, just stood there facing the audience speaking. Brad then prompted the movers by saying they should all get on the motorcycle to go look at the tulips, and he'll drive. Colin said he'd ride in the sidecar, so that left Greg to "be Brad's bitch." Colin and Greg managed to get moving. Brad, however... Remember how I said Colin demonstrated this game using Brad? I think Beth was asleep for that part. She apparently didn't get that she was actually supposed to do all the moving for Brad. She pushed Brad, and bless him for fighting his instincts but he didn't move anything. This confused Beth, who must have assumed he'd start walking. So she kept pushing. You see where this is going, right? Yep. Brad eventually fell onto the stage. Jeff and Ed, moving Colin and Greg, managed to get Brad off the floor. Beth was no help, just sorta yanking on his shirt or something. Brad was finally stood up, then Colin and Greg carried on with the scene and their movers did a good job, prompting Brad to yell after them, "Oh, you with your moving legs!" Meanwhile Brad was stuck, as Beth futilely tried getting him to move again. Hey chick, not happening. His legs did end up crossed, saying he needed to pee. At first this was funny, then it wasn't, then frustration kicked in and the audience started yelling at Beth to hit Brad's legs. Finally, Beth took the hint, but she took it literally. She started karate-chopping his legs to get him to move. She also never really gave up the whole "I'm a foot shorter than him and a hundred pounds lighter but I know I can drag him across the stage" technique she'd apparently grown fond of. Brad endured it like a trooper, throwing out lines like, "At the risk of permanent injury to my hamstrings, I'm coming over!" All three finally ended up in the same general vicinity declaring their love and friendship for each other. Greg called it their "small triangle of friendship."
At the end of the game, all three guys shook hands with the movers. I might have been tempted to rip Beth's leg off at that point, but again, Brad's a good sport, and I'm just in the audience.

Next was "New Choice," with Brad and Colin playing and Greg calling "New Choice." Greg asked for a suggestion of a made-up place and a girl a couple of rows in front of me said something, no one could understand it. It sounded like "House of Peery," but I can't guarantee it. She must have said it 3 or 4 times, but no one could hear her or get it. Finally Brad says, "Unfold your arms, sit up, and tell me what you're saying." Problem is, that's how I'm sitting, not her, and I haven't opened my mouth. I would have, if I'd known what she'd been saying, but by then I'd given up. Brad gave up, too, and Colin ended up taking "House of Hearing." Very appropriate, I think.
I think Beth brought out a lot of aggression in Brad, and this game gave him the opportunity to vent it...on Colin. He kept asking Colin to name his four favorite things. Greg played into this beautifully, telling Colin "New Choice" after every list. Brad asked Colin what his four favorite birds were. Colin names off four. NEW CHOICE. Four more. NEW CHOICE. Four more. NEW CHOICE. Four bluebirds. That got the audience on Colin's side big-time, so nyah on Brad and Greg. LOL

"Film, Theater, and TV Styles" took place in a graveyard, and Jim from the audience read out a new style each time a player said "Freeze." Grag starts off the scene by digging, and dancing and whistling that "Seven Dwarfs" tune while he's doing so. Colin asks him what he's doing. He's taking out the body to put a new one in. Colin says he didn't know there was a time limit. Oh yeah, about 5 years, then we put you someplace else. Colin says, "Well, you seem happy." Greg replies, "I dig my work." I laughed at this. I was the only one in the entire place to do so, prompting Greg to say, "That's my laugh! There. Now, we will each collect laughs throughout the night, so that, by the end of the night, we'll have gathered enough to have the whole place laughing." Glad to help out, Greg. LOL

Godzilla: Brad was off-stage during the "pre" style, so he started making all sorts of snorting growling sounds. Colin and Greg cowered in fear until Brad finally walked out, saying he'd just sneezed.

Porno: Greg dropped his shovel, giving Colin the full butt shot. Colin commented, "There sure are a lot of stiffs around here." (Yes, that got the place laughing.)

Three Stooges: There were the obligatory eye-jabs and such, Brad called Greg Larry and Colin became Curly. (Yes, more laughing.) Colin quickly froze this game, and Brad teased, "Didn't have them in Canada, eh?" Heehee.

Musical: Brad started a whole song and dance, then Greg and Colin did a song and dance, then all three really got into it. Fantastic version, very elaborate and got the guys lots of cheers.

Chick Flick: There was something in the air for this one because Greg whined to Colin---uh...Ralph(?) begging him not to leave, and then suddenly leapt into his arms. Left the ground, arms around Colin's neck, legs around his waist, Colin fully supporting his weight. Whoa, baby.

Kung Fu: Colin put Greg down, Greg picked up his "shovel of death" and twirled it around ala Samurai sword.

Brokeback Mountain: Colin looked at Brad and Greg then resigned himself to the scene and started with, "Damn, it's cold. Let's cuddle and share body heat." Wiseass Brad responded, "Well, I have a parka, but you two go ahead." Greg snuggled and Colin gave Brad that look. If that look could kill, Brad would have been dust.

Cirque de Soleil: Brad grabbed a stool, leaned over it, and posed. Greg grabbed the second stool and started posing with it. Colin grabbed the third one and attempted to balance it on one leg on his chin, quite nearly succeeding.

Marx Brothers: Greg, in a passable Groucho impression, observes that "We either have two stools upside down or seating for 8."

Horror: Brad did his Jason "ch ch ch ahh ahh ahh" thing and Colin and Greg discussed what to do. Again that air was weird, because they decided they'd have sex before they got killed. Then Colin figured, "No, they don't kill virgins." So when Brad came in, he said, "We're virgins!" Brad: "As easy as that is to believe," something something something. The laughter drowned out the rest of this one.

Spring Break: All I have for this is "Colin hurls, passes out." A lot more happened, but god only knows what. I was too busy wiping the tears of laughter away, as was everyone else.

Japanese: Weird air attack again, as Greg pops in haltingly with the line, "Men without hair very virile." Colin gave that a big thumbs up.

Sci-Fi: one of the guys made a reference to "Mr. Anderson." That brought a ton of laughs, but clueless over here still doesn't get the reference, sorry.

Western: Brad make a clicking spur sound for a while, then made a whirring sound and explained he'd spun his spurs.

Slasher: no notes.

Vampire: Greg had been asking Jim to repeat the style for the last three or four examples, so finally Colin said maybe Greg needs to go to the House of Hearing. Anywho, Greg, as the vampire, headed for Colin's neck (there's that air again). Brad held up a cross, but Greg snarked, "Your cross won't work on me. I'm Jewish."

Documentary: Colin completely owned this one, and gave us a decent history of vampires, gravestones, and silliness.

Film Noir: Brad ended the game with, "It was then I noticed that we'd used the last suggestion on the list."


During "Crime Scene Confession," Greg played the criminal, and Brad and Colin got him to confess that, "While wearing a nose mitten, a powder-blue toga, and chainmail, he stole someone's wooden leg while cow-tipping in Skinniatlas at Ramone's Seagull Shack (seagull shack was mine), and left behind a hockey stick and a bowling ball."

After Brad and Colin collected the crime details, Greg came back into the theater with a girl and a beer, claiming they had just gotten married and isn't Massachusetts wonderful? The audience roundly BOOED him and yelled "CONNECTICUT!!!" When he got back on the stage, Brad saved him by telling him they'd extradited him back to Connecticut while he was asleep.
It took a while for Greg to get "nose mitten." "Nose" was easy enough, but they couldn't get mitten. Colin went in the "oven mitt" direction, but Greg got stuck on "nose oven" and wouldn't leave it alone til Colin threatened him with death. When "nose mitten" finally came together, Greg's response was, "What the fuck is a nose mitten?" He decided it was a ConnECTicut thing, pronouncing the middle c. Brad (or was it Colin?) told him, "They only pronounce the first C, jackass." Greg later came out with "Conneti-utt." Smartass.
On to "Toga," which came easily. Greg then proceeded to name off every shade of blue known to man, except "powder," until Brad modeled the toga. Then he got it. Heheheh.
Colin used a pirate theme to get to "wooden leg," but Greg couldn't get away from a pirate owning it. Then he got that he tipped a cow, but couldn't get around to "cow-tipping." Man, once Greg gets on a theme, he stays on that theme. I love him in this game, even though there are times we all just wanted to kill him. *w* "Seagull" came relatively easily, but "shack" was another speedbump. Brad described it as more basic, back to the roots than your usual buildings. Greg went with foundation, building blocks, all sorts of things. Brad then starts singing the B52's "Love Shack." Did not come easily.
Skinniatlas caused no problems, much to Greg's surprise. "Really???" Instead, Ramone was the problem. Colin got him to say Rah using a sun god hint, which tickled Greg to no end. Then he moaned. Well, he groaned. Well, he made some sort of noise that Greg interpreted as everything except moaning. Brad gave up and went out to take care of his lawn and came back saying it was much shorter because he'd.... and Greg incredulously guessed, "Mown???? Oh, that was moaning!" DOH!
Hockey stick prompted this from Greg, "Well, I'm from California. We fucking rule at hockey." I know next to nothing about this sport, but why was I left with the distinct impression that Cali does not rule at hockey? *G*
And finally they tried for bowling ball. Greg took a left at his own tangent and went on about his dad and a taxi and disappearing in the night and this entire diatribe that had absolutely nothing to do with bowling. Brad named him "Garrison Keelover." This whole thing hurt my sides. Damn...
Greg screwed up the final confession, going with bowling shoes instead of the ball, but finally corrected it. Amazingly, as agonizing as this was, it only took about 15-20 minutes. Brad checked his watch at the end, and he seemed impressed as well.

For "Sentences," at a French castle in the style of Shakespeare, Colin ended up being King Eczema, Greg was Psoriasis, and Brad was dubbed Lord Gonorrhoeae. (That's my technical spelling coming to the forefront.) Greg worked for Colin, Brad was the enemy king. Various sentences pulled included:

Greg - "Sientific monkey something." He pointed out that there was no C. "See, if you don't pronounce it, you don't include it." You could hear the HAH in his head. You rock, Greg.

Brad, practicing his battle cry - "I got pregnant." Greg commented, 'Must be something in the croissants." Colin wasn't afraid, saying that pregnancy isn't something to be afraid of until the ninth month...all those hormones and such.

Colin, quoting his father's first rule of war - "Get her done." Short, sweet, to the point, brought much cheering.

Colin, repeating what Brad's wife said to him when he slept with her - "Ouch, those ping pong balls are killing me." (The queen was named Lady Valvoline, "she who does not need lube," per Greg. OOoooo....)

Greg - "I have a bladder control problem." Brad made lots of bad puns around this, so Greg retaliated by peeing on him.

Brad - "You look like Colin Mochrie." Lots of bald jokes between Greg and Brad, but Colin got his revenge. "Sure, all this from four-eyes and the big guy." Snort...

Greg - "Did you fart?" Colin was quite insulted. "NO, I did not! I'm about to lose my kingdom here. I have no time to fart!"

Brad, on a different/separate piece of paper - "Did you fart?" Colin sighed, then said, "okay yeah, I did. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself." But he diverted attention from his farting by asking Brad where his accent had gone. It kept fading in and out and Colin got suspicious as to where he'd come from.
Greg kept almost dying during this, but he never did come up with a satisfactory death sentence. *G*

"Sound Effects" got Dell up for Brad and Vicki up for Greg. They were stuntmen preparing for a scene. Brad made very quiet pancakes, then Greg arrived on a metrokitten. (Quiet stuff going on.) Greg was all excited about learning stuntwork, so Brad taught him to stunt fight. Greg somehow farted, so Brad told him he fought like an English king. Heheh. They switched to actual stunts, with Greg practicing on his gay motorcycle.
When they were ready to do the stunt, Greg grabbed the bullhorn to warn people away. He got some sort of WOWRERAOW noise that got Brad and Colin laughing. Then Brad tried the bullhorn but only succeeded in imitating angry gay geese.
This scene ended up being about a huge stunt as described by Brad, and Greg had to do it. All sorts of sound effects were prompted, but they didn't get much. Greg said okay, enough for practice, now we'll do the real stunt. Lots of BOOM, CRASH, SMASH noises later, our stuntmen were happy.

The night ended with "Mousetraps" for Colin and Greg. Brad introduced it, saying "they''ll be playing the world's most dangerous improv game." Someone in the audience yelled out, "Hoedown!" Brad answered, "No, that's when a prostitute falls off a balcony." Someone else yelled out "Props" and then another game. This caused Colin to turn around and say, "Don't worry, you don't have to guess. We'll explain it to you." Very amusing interaction, hadn't seen that before. While the traps were being set up, a larger number than usual snapped, leading Brad to rename it the "second most dangerous improv game."
Several interesting observations from this game: Greg screams like a girl. And he's terrified of getting hit with traps from other people. (Wonder why, given that he spent the previous night trying to get Colin and Brad and you know what they say about payback. *G*) At one point he yelled, "MARCO!" Colin responded immediately, "POLO!!" Funny cute moment.
Brad did something unique, and smart. He put a few traps on a stool and followed the other two with it. First he got Colin. Colin stopped, and you could literally see the gears turning as he wondered exactly how the traps had hit his hands at waist level. Then Brad went for Greg the same way. Completely different reaction. Greg turned and started flailing his arms about. If Brad hadn't backed away, he'd have been smacked. Lots of fun watching Greg's paranoia. Brad then went up to Greg and removed his goggles. Then they both pitched traps at Colin. Too many traps hit you in the crotch, you know something's up. For Colin, this was the most dangerous improv game.

I would have sworn to you that Friday's show was the funniest I'd ever seen. I was wrong. This one was. This trio deserves every standing ovation they get.

Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Greg Proops, Brad Sherwood, and Colin Mochrie were introduced to the sell-out crowd and they came on-stage. Lots of bowing, waving, then, "Okay, that's been our show! Good night!" Then followed some banter about welcome to the theater, joking about Hobbit tables and chairs that were set up. (Yeah, they were kinda low, but I'm short, so I barely noticed. Brad's chin would have been sitting on his knees had he been stuck sitting with us.) Colin asked who in the crowd thought they were given clues beforehand on "Whose Line." A smattering of applause answered. (That always surprises me, that there's never dead silence. People always think they were faking it.) Greg asked Colin, 'Hey, isn't there a word for those people?" Colin responded, "Yeah. BASTARDS." The majority of the crowd applauded and cheered. This was a good audience, mostly the college crowd and a few families with preteens scattered to skew the demographic. (Saturday must have been senior citizen discount night.)
As Brad was giving the basics about how the evening would work, someone in the crowd yelled, "Where's Drew?" Greg yelled back, "Where's your rich friend?" Greg added that the black guy and the tall guy weren't there, either. Brad referred us to our programs, to the page where it reads, "You're shit out of luck." "So you're stuck with us." Judging by the audience reaction to that, they were quite an acceptable line-up.

The games started with "Moving Bodies," and all three participated. They were in Finland (yay me!) travelling on a goat. Brad started the scene, and Colin said he wasn't doing anything until his nails dried. (Don't they have a nice Finish? Grooooaaaannn.) Carl, the guy moving him, then waved his hands around, like they were air-drying. Nice touch. Greg decided they were going to take a goat somewhere, and I believe Jeff, his mover, thought that Greg was going to be the actual goat, for he walked him til he was in front of Brad and Colin and bent him over at the waist. Greg spent some time admiring the spot on the floor before Jeff let him stand up again. Greg and Colin made it onto the goat, but they almost left Brad behind. Brad enjoyed the ride the most, calling it "Six Flags Over Finland," but Colin liked the location better, as he was able to stock up on vodka. Carl actually got Colin to get a bottle of water (pure Husky water, per Greg (Huskies are UConn's teams)) and drink that. Then all three tried to race across the stage. Colin almost ended up "walking off the cliff," coming perilously close to the edge of the stage. Brad won the race, Greg was left far behind. Colin and Brad talked about how all three of them were the best of friends, but only those two ended up in an embrace. From halfway across the stage, Greg yelled at them to get a room. Brad said, "Can I get a room?" And suddenly, Greg's mover had Greg right up behind Colin and Greg added, "For three!" Colin ended the game declaring how "uncomfortable" that was.

During "New Choice," Brad and Greg played, and Colin called for the New Choices. Colin asked for a made-up store. A group of girls in the balcony said something, and Brad asked the ladies to repeat it. This deep voice rings out "TOE JAM OUTLET." Brad fell to his hands and knees laughing. So he accepted the suggestion and welcomed Greg to the TOE JAM OUTLET in the same booming voice.
I believe Colin went into this game thinking, "I'm in charge now." Brad kept trying to bait Greg into having to name off tons of things, like "Who are your four favorite so and so?" (NC) "What are your three favorite whatevers?" (NC) "Here, have a sandwich." Colin simply refused to allow Brad to get Greg, 'cause he was going to do it. Greg was Brad's old high school guidance counsellor (NC) ex-wife, and was here to serve Brad a restraining order. Brad's comment was, "You came here to tell me to go away?" Basically, yeah. And to f-off. And Greg gave Brad a creative version of the finger, complete with a little butt-wiggling dance. So Colin said "New Obscene Dance." And Greg did a lot more wiggling and finger-waving. Really funny. Somehow, Brad got in a chorus from Barry Manilow's "Copacabana." Colin did not NC that one, as I recall, just joined Greg in giving him a "Where the hell did that come from???" look.

"Styles" brought all three players in again, and added an audience member, Sandy, to read off a new Style when one of the players said "FREEZE." The scene took place at a railway station. Sandy teaches middle school, 5th and 6th graders. The guys all thought that was younger than what they remembered middle school as being, so during the scenes, 4th graders would end up in high school, and 7th graders were going to UConn. Just random silliness unrelated to the scene every so often.
Romance: Colin and Greg shared some wine and food and Brad played the violin.
Kabuki: Brad stopped playing the violin and Colin asked what the hell happened to the violin? Brad answered in some Japanese deep voice, and Greg spoke in his "Gremlin" voice. (Odd choice, but certainly amusing.) Colin stole this style with a million different kabuki poses, although I'm not sure most of them would pass muster in a real Kabuki theater.
Woody Allen: This was Greg's style to shine on. He went on a W.A. tangent that rightfully earned him applause by the time someone Froze it again.
Burlesque
Chick Flick: Brad -"Where's the chocolate??" The three of them ended up in a car on the railroad track, with Greg driving. Then in Film Noir, Colin asided that he didn't know why Greg was milking a cow. He had been "steering," which consisted of his hands just moving up and down. He gave Colin this "I don't get it" look, then suddenly cracked up as he did get it.
Porno: Brad was in the back seat of the car, but I don't know what he said. Too much laughing going on.
Western: Brad whistled/hooted "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" theme, very passably. He was now standing next to Sandy, and I have the feeling he was now giving her hints as to what styles to choose next.
Ibsen: Colin said one line, and a guy in back of me just died laughing. I'm glad he got it. Colin was, too, 'cause he said, "That's my one Ibsen reference." Brad answered that it was one more than he had.
Manet: I don't know who this is, but all three of the guys did. Must be some sort of gangster/mobster thing, 'cause that's what I got from what they did. They went a little while with this one.
Kung Fu Chuck Norris - no notes. Much laughter from everyone, including the guys. "What???"
Horror: Brad starts doing a "Jason/Friday the 13th noise" and Greg says that must be the train coming. He did something completely irrelevant to the style and the audience got confused, as did Brad and Colin. Greg was like, "What? Isn't it porn?" Much laughing at that one.

For "Crime Scene Confession," Greg left, taking "Pookie" with him, and Brad and Colin collected the suggestions and gave clues so Greg could confess the crime: "While wearing a shield, a coonskin cap, and a harlequin mask, he went fishing for octopus on Christmas Eve and went hot-air ballooning. It happened in Wikityquock at the Snack Fairy thrift shop, and he left behind a guitar string and a chastity belt." When Greg returned, he and the girl each had a beer and, per Greg, had gotten married. Lucky gal.

Greg was wearing a shield, (Colin's hint being "_____ and Yarnell," thus amusing Greg for a better portion of the game), a coonskin cap (the reference for that flew right over my head, but Greg got it quickly), and a harlequin mask (Brad referenced Anthony Quinn, to the appreciation of a portion of the crowd).
He went fishing on Christmas Eve (Colin: Ho ho ho, you're not getting away with this) for octopi. (Brad got in clues about sea creatures squirting ink, and Greg said oh, that narrows it down to one. Brad said, no, two actually, and I bet you pick the wrong one. Greg did, he said squid. And he kept saying squid. He went off on this whole squid-ink "octagonal pussy squid" tangent and made up this whole entire crime until finally Colin told him that if he said the word "Squid" again, he'd kill him. I was laughing my butt off, because Greg started and just kept going. Funny funny funny stuff. Greg really added to this game in a beautiful way. Really did.) Hot air balloon wasn't too tough.
They got Wikityquock in a beautiful tandem Colin and Brad doubleteam. Colin got the wikity, and Brad did quoc. (How does a 3 y/o say "alligator"?) Snack Fairy (Brad pointed out the specific fairy, and I think I heard Colin's eyes roll in disgust. LOL) and thrift shop (it was like pulling teeth to get Greg to Salvation Army then thrift shop.) For guitar string, Brad and Colin named off G B A D C F E and finally got Greg to get a guitar, but drop the instrument part. "So all I have are letters?" Finally he got it.
Then it was time to die, because they got Greg to be quiet long enough to give him hints for "chastity belt" and tell him he had to give his whole crime. So, we got, "While wearing a shield, a coonskin cap, and a harlequin mask, I went fishing on Christmas Eve for Octopi and made my escape in a hot-air balloon. I was in Wikityquock at the Snack Fairy thrift shop and I left behind a guitar string and Chastity Bono." We. Freaking. Died. Brad died. Colin died. They were on the floor in agony. Funny as all freakin' get-out. Finally, with the help of a few "belt" hints, Greg got it. And it only took 3 days.

"Sentences" was done in Shakespearean style at a carwash. Colin was the king, Greg was on his side, and I believe Brad was the enemy. Not sure, really. The scene ended up containing an awful lot of references to earlier game suggestions, and had a couple of themes based on the sentences pulled.
Greg pulled: "How did he get up on the sink and poop without breaking it?" That came back later to haunt us.
Colin pulled: "I like peanuts better than walnuts," which led to a lot of nuts jokes and Colin's unfortunate phrase, "Peanuts envy."
Greg pulled: "Is there any romance tonight?" The funniest part of this game, was Brad and Colin on each side of Greg and simultaneously backing away from Greg after he read that one.
Brad pulled: "I have a snake in my boot." He mimed this every so often, and Colin at one point replied, well I have a something in mine, and they were just shaking their legs at each other. Damn amusing.
Greg's character died at the end and he pulled out his death sentence and crouched down snorting and laughing. He couldn't read it at first, then finally died with these words on his lips: "Ooooh, my penis is hard!"

Brad watched Colin and Greg play "Sound Effects." They were lumberjacks, and Greg seemed to have particular fun trying to come up with different sounds for them to make. He told Colin he should wear his ear protection, but Colin said he'd chance it. LOL They got some pretty good sound effects, but the best effect didn't come from the stage. One of the guys cued a seagull and the person on stage made some sort of noise. Suddenly, from the balcony, came the best damn seagull impression anyone in that room had ever heard. The guys stopped, cued it again, and the sound came again. Brad stood, all three lined up on stage, and they gave whoever it was a standing ovation. It was a damn good seagull impression. DAMN good.
It was funny watching Brad laugh at some of the guys' responses to the sound effects. They tried to talk to the control tower and the resulting voice had them commenting on how it was great that they were able to hire that guy with no lips. Brad just guffawed at that. He had as good a time as the rest of us.

Colin and Brad ended the night by playing "Mousetraps." The funniest part of this particular playing was that Colin and Brad were getting better shots on each other than Greg was, and Greg could see! Lots of fingers got snapped out of spite during this game.

It amazes me that each show I attend turns out to be funnier than the last one. This was the best yet, and, by the standing ovation the guys received, I guess the audience agreed that it was a damn funny night.

Written by Peppi and Emile and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

All material written by Peppi will be in normal text. All material written by Emile will be in italicized text.

Before the show started, we wandered the lobby a bit, and I remembered to look for t-shirts, and there they were! I happily bought one there and then, but I don’t know if the table was swarmed during intermission or after the show or not. I do hope a lot of folks got their shirts!

The theatre was packed to the rafters, I’m happy to report. And all audience members were “on” tonight. Everyone participated well and knew what was expected of them, even the youngsters. Fantastic.

Well, I'm back from my adventure in the land called Mississauga, where I ventured forth to see a little show called An Evening with Colin & Brad at the Living Arts Centre. First off, I really don't know where to begin. The show itself was spectacular, I had I think the best seat in the house (third row from stage, dead centre), and the show lasted a lot longer than I expected, almost 3 hours, so I definitely got my money's worth!) Please excuse the rambling nature of this review. Not only that, a lot of the details I've sadly forgotten. But I'll try and remember some of the funnier moments of the show -- there are a couple that I remember quite clearly, due to how excruciatingly funny they were! Anyway, onwards we go!

The guys entered to some loud music and did a little bowing routine which I hadn’t seen them do before: run out to the stage, about 15 feet apart, simultaneously bow to the left, bow to the right, bow to the centre, and then “Knee Up Jazz Hands Point to Each Other” bow to each other. They did this at the end of the show too. Very cute. Usual intro – Colin asked who in the audience thought that Whose Line was “made up” and he called them “bastards”. Colin? I think this is old now.

1) Moving Bodies – with Miranda and Marius. Colin asked for a European country – Charlotte gave him “Spain”. Colin asked a front-row guy to put his finger in the Mississauga yellow pages as Colin flicked the book – the guy stabbed the page that had an ad for “Mark’s Quality Firewood and Top Soil”. This one threw Brad for a loop, but basically they worked at a Spanish Firewood and Topsoil store, and had to load up their moped with a load of firewood, after hacking it down with an axe. Brad kept up a charming Spanish lithsp through the whole skit. I can’t remember much about this one other than Marius went quite wild with poor Colin and actually allowed him to fall, gently, on to the floor. I don’t mean he let Colin overbalance and fall, I mean he let Colin overbalance into his arms, and Colin, mumbling “o-oh-ohhhh...” and wearing that look of terror he does so well, fell into Marius’ arms and allowed Marius to gently place him on the stage floor, from where he conducted a couple of sentences directing Marius to help him back up, and a minute later landing on the stage floor again. Also, at the end of the skit, when Marius was wildly swinging Colin’s leg around to get him off the moped behind Brad, Colin asked Brad quite loudly, “Have you ever had a groin pull?” As Miranda was swinging Brad off the front of the moped and planting his right foot about five feet away from his left, Brad replied quite gleefully, “why, yes!”

First up was a game of Moving Bodies. Two audience members (sadly, I can't remember the names of most of the volunteers) came up to move them. The scene was chosen from a Mississauga telephone directory, and for that game it involved something like fertilizers (blast my awful recall, I really wish I had taken notes!). The lady moved Brad and the man moved Colin...rather roughly it must be noted. He at one point got Colin down on the ground, then had difficulty getting him back up. One thing I noticed was that each of the games went on for a very long time, a good 10-15 minutes each, some even longer.

2) New Choice – with kids Nick, Julie and James, all around 11 or 12. The scene was Soap Opera, set in a Chinese Igloo. The kids all had the “honkers”. This game moved all over the place, with the kids honking for “new choice” every time the guys took a breath. “Hi, nice to meet you! HONK! Hey, I’m damn angry to see you! HONK! I’m quite apathetic, really.” Somehow it all morphed into Colin and Brad each having had sex change operations and somehow between the two of them they’d managed to produce a baby which Colin happily held until the thing clamped on to his nipples “AHHH!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!” HONK! Ah, I see he’s latched.... (or something... not quite sure here, too busy laughing). Things started to get a little passionate as the two professed their love for each other and as Colin approached Brad, Brad yelled out “kiss me, you fool!” while making big honking gestures over Colin’s shoulders towards the kids, who happily obliged with a big HONK, and Brad whispered “THANK YOU!”

The second game played was New Choice. Three kids were picked from the audience. One was wearing headphones, and Brad put them on to hear what was playing. The scene for this game involved a Chinese food store in an igloo. The kids had horns to honk to signal a new choice, and were terrific...and sadistic at it. The poor guys got honked nearly every single line of the scene. It was so funny to see them get more and more flustered coming up with new lines.

3) Dr. Seuss – using suggestions “checkers” and “toothpaste”. Again using the Mississauga yellow pages, landing on an “Insurance and Financial Services” ad. Lots of rhyming here – very well done. Brad was a customer looking for financial services and Colin invited him into his office, apologizing that his business was in poor shape and he really needed Brad’s financial aid... it somehow turned into a standoff, with Brad squaring off with a tube of toothpaste, while Colin threatened to flip checkers at him, all rhyming, of course. It ended with a feeble little “thwirp” of toothpaste as Brad squirted his last feeble shot. This game, however, did NOT end up with Colin mumbling “oh f*ck” for a change.

Next up was the Dr. Seuss game, where the two basically had to keep speaking in rhyme for the entire game. The scene involved a financial institution, along with two other words they had to work in, but sadly I cannot remember. They did very well with the rhyming and only fluffed a couple times

4) Dubbing – Barry and Cheryl were called up. Colin asked the audience for an unusual Fairy Tale – someone suggested “The Magic Raisin”. Barry had sold his magic raisin to raise money, and Cheryl, as Barry’s mother, berated him for wasting her time and money on a stupid raisin which she then threw away and the raisin began growing... well, you know the story. This was fun watching Colin do the voices for Brad and Barry, and Brad doing the voices for Colin and Cheryl. What total chaos and confusion! Barry was mouthing everybody’s words and Brad used Cheryl’s voice to add to the confusion by yelling at Barry in a squeaky, girly voice “you stop mimicking everything he says! No, not him, HIM! No, THAT him! Stop it!! No, HIM!!! Over there!!” And then Colin using a gruff voice to dub for Brad, “WILL. YOU. STOP. MESSING. WITH. ME! And leave her alone!” and Brad wildly flailing his arms while mouthing Colin’s words then all of a sudden morphing back into Cheryl’s high-pitch and poor startled Cheryl, going “Oh! It’s my turn again!” and trying to mouth Brad’s words... what a mess! So much fun!

Up next was Double Dub. Again, two people were called from the audience. The premise is, Colin did the voice for one of the volunteers and Brad, while Brad did the voices for both Colin and the second volunteer. Sound confusing? It is. When they asked for a suggestion of the title for a made up fairy tale, they took my suggestion of "The Magic Raisin" (Brad: I really like that one *mimes smoking a joint*) LOL. It was a very confusing game. One of the funniest bits was Colin kept yelling at the male volunteer for "making fun of him" by miming what he was saying. The female also was fun, Brad kept yelling at one person, while she was pointing at the other. "You! Not him! The other one! You!" The scene ended with all of them feeling Brad's butt (don't ask). Was interesting, but as I said hard to follow.

5) Crime Scene – Brad left the theatre and Colin got us to invent the following crime, which Brad would confess to: While wearing lime green bunny slippers (another suggestion by Charlotte), a vest made of back bacon and a kilt, Brad stole nose-hair clippers from The Bay while playing Bocci Ball at Roy Romanow’s Pet Cemetary and Lacrosse Shop while carrying moose antlers. Work. Of. Art. One of the best parts of this game was watching Colin endear himself with his Canadian fans by using references that Brad would never pick up on. The fun started with “back bacon”; what Americans call “Canadian bacon”. But Colin never gave him that clue. Instead he made a point of walking over to the side of the stage and “adjusting the Maple Leaf” on the flag, which set the audience chuckling because Maple Leaf is a major brand of bacon, hot dogs and cold cuts in Canada, but of course Brad didn’t know that. The Bay is a major chain of department stores in Canada; its’ origins are the Hudson’s Bay Company, which was originally a trading/fur-trapping/general store over 350 YEARS ago, and which is a major part of our shopping culture. Naturally no one in the States ever heard of it either, but Colin made the most of it, coaxing Brad along… A couple falls in love, get married, has a ba-... (covers Brad’s mouth to stop him at “ba...)… You like scallops, don’t you? Love ‘em. What kind? Puzzled look from Brad... um, large? (Bay Scallops!!) Name a kind of large body of water… a lake? A bay, a bay? Now change the article in front of “bay”!! What article could you use to change the meaning here??? Brad, looking puzzled and confused… “e-bay?” The audience was going out of its mind! Poor Brad. Colin kept throwing in Canadian clues and then telling Brad, “of course this won’t help you one iota!” Then came the “Roy Romanow” part. Colin had asked us for a famous Canadian politician and got Roy Romanow, who is the ex-premier of Saskatchewan and author of a major federal paper suggesting recommendations for reforms for public health care in Canada. Yeah, sure, Brad would get that easy! Ha! Good lord, I thought Brad was going to start pulling out his hair! He had NO idea where Colin was going with this. Roman… Romanoff? Romanooo? Ray RomANo? Romani? (Checking his vowels) romanA, romanI, romanOOO, romanOY, romanEEE , romanUUU…. The audience was DYING!! He was saying everything but “O”, which became a standing joke for the rest of the night. “You can’t even say O!” Then it was time to try and get Brad to guess “Lacrosse” – yeah, good luck with that, Colin! He tried running at Brad with a lacrosse bat, and Brad guessed he was a butterfly catcher! Finally, Colin tried “La Jesus sur... “ and mimed Jesus hanging from the cross... FINALLY Brad said “la cross?” Yes! Moose antlers were easy, after all that! Fabulous game! Then it was time for intermission, and the guys ran off-stage to wild applause and whoopings. I think poor Brad’s brain needed a rest!

The final game of the first half was Interrogation, and boy oh boy, did we ever give it to Brad. :) Colin was the interrogator, and got all the information for Brad's crime. Amazingly, this is one of the only games I remember clearly, including the full description of Brad's crime, which was thus....*takes deep breath*....While wearing lime green bunny slippers, a vest made of back bacon and a kilt, Brad stole a pair of nose hair clippers from The Bay, while playing Bacci ball at Roy Romano's Pet Cemetery and Lacrosse Shop with moose antlers! Can Brad get this? Not a chance in hell, but we had a hell of a laugh. The game literally went on for a good half hour. Brad was absolutely hopeless, despite the subtle clues of Colin. Never have I laughed so much in my life. He had the most trouble over The Bay...

C: When a man and a woman fall in love, they get married, they make love, and nine months later they have...?
B: A bay....*Colin puts his hand over his mouth to stop after the first syllable
C: Well?
B: Bay scallops!
C: No! Now, you don't need that last part! Now we have the actual word that we needed!
B: Oh! Bay! *audience applauds and cheers* I stole nosehair clippers...from a baby! *Colin throws hands up in exasperation* From the Bay City Rollers! I stole nosehair clippers from a bay!
C: *A* Bay? *A* Bay?
B: No! Several bays!
C: No! One gigantic....
B: Bay!
C: All you need is one little article to describe! A short, little article in front of bay!
B: eBay! *audience goes bananas*

And on it went. Brad also was stumped over Roy Romano. (Colin: Where in the hell is your mind?") He kept mispronouncing the last name.

B: Roman Roy. *colin mimes "switch it"* Roy Roman!
C: Oh, you're so close! Just one little letter..."
B: Roy Romanoff...
C: Get the F out! *Brad goes to leave* No, stay there! You're soooo clooose!
B: Roy Romanoo! Roy Romanaw!
C: You're running out of vowels!
B: Roy Romanoi! Roy Romanow! Roy Romanee! Roy Romanoyeeeee! Romanay? Romanee? Romani? Romanu? *counts out vowels on his fingers* Romano! *huge cheer from audience*

But somehow, despite all that, he finally got the whole thing, and we practically gave him a standing ovation. LOL, he's a trouper, that Brad. And at this point, they took a short intermission.

6) Shakespeare, using sentences from the audience. (I was hoping they’d read my sentence, but no luck. I was, however, sitting at the edge of the aisle when Colin handed out the cards and pencils, and I was very tempted to whisper to him as he handed me the cards for our row, “Hey, Colin!! It’s me, Peppi!” but I got over it. ) Colin as Lord Dumpster the King, had to save his country from the lack of sanitation engineers who’d been abducted by Kupa? Kapu? Something. King of the neighbouring country. Brad was Sir Riasis. Ya had to be there. This was a rather long skit, very enjoyable. The part I remember best is that Colin was trying to end it with a good line from the basket, but he kept pulling up cards that read, “So how’s the baby?” and “How about them Browns?” and “Don’t you think you should have that looked at?” The audience was killing themselves because Colin, as the dying king, was trying so dramatically hard to impart his own dying father’s last words, and was coming up with these silly little conversational pieces that just weren’t working, so Brad just walked over to Colin and slashed him with his sword. Game over.

The second half started with a game of Sentences. The scene was just basically a Shakespearean scene, involving the topic of over-sanitation. The highlight of the game was the fact that Colin kept having final words of advice his dying father said to him, and each time he read a line it was a very conversational sentence (ie, "So how are those Browns?" "How's your family?" etc). My own sentence ('Did you know ferrets taste like chicken?') was worked into it during this part of the scene, and it got a good laugh, too. Brad ended up getting so aggravated over Colin not dying fast enough that he stabbed him himself. My favourite part that I can actually remember went sort of like this:

C: The other night as the queen and I were making warm hot passionate love, she did look at me and say to me...*reads* "Would you like a large double double?" ... And then we discussed the garbage problem!"
B: So how was your quadruple?
C: She was very vexed indeed. She did give me an ultimatum. Never again would we have royal sex. She said...*reads* "My dog ate it!"...I did not want to ask!

7) Rap Song – Terry, who lives in Acton and works in Hamilton for Defasco (major steel manufacturer). Terry works in systems and processing and control procedures, which had Brad reeling, trying to get specifics. Finally we got that Terry heats the coke (hmm, you mean coke ~slurp~? or coke ~sniff~) which makes the steel stronger. He also likes to do landscaping on his property, using his tractor. He has two golden retrievers, named George and Hudson (to which Colin added: “as in Hudson’s Bay Company”?? with a smirk for Brad!). His wife Jen likes anything to do with “rhinos”. Jen, sitting in the audience, was asked by Brad if she had any pet names for Terry, like Snuggle Bunny. No. Ok, what was one word she would use to describe her husband? “Large”. Oka-a-a-y then!!! Then the guys called on Dominic and Brian to come on stage and be the back-up dancers to the rap tune “I’m MC Terry”. What a great game this was! Brad’s rappin’ rhythms were great, and Colin lead Dominic and Brian in some fabulous dancing (not!!!) and Terry was dead on every time Brad approached him with the mike to announce “I’m MC Terry!” I don’t think I heard a word of Brad’s rap though, because I was so busy laughing at the dancing! What a riot!! Three middle-aged yuppie guys trying to rap-dance! Yowsa!

The next game was Rap. They got a volunteer from the audience, a gentleman named Terry. Brad got tons of information from him. When asked where he was from, he said Acton, and several audience members shouted out "It's worth the drive to Acton!" (a line from a commercial). To which Brad said, "Nice to see the mayor of Acton is here!" and got a huge laugh. After getting the information, he announced the game as Rap, and got two more volunteers from the audience, who were to be Terry's backup dancers. And at various points Brad would point to Terry who would have to say in his best DJ voice, "I'm MC Terry!" They did a very good job, and Colin was hysterical as the beatbox person, scratching away

8 ) Sound Effects – Rebecca and another Brian were called up. Again Colin asked the same guy in the front row to stab his finger in the yellow pages ("you’ve been doing this all night – try to get it right, for a change!"), and we got Furniture Maker. Then Colin did a second flip and the guy stabbed Painting Contractors. What a great combination! Brad wandered the stage looking forlorn. “How can we POSSIBLY use those two ideas in combination??” I can’t remember which of Colin or Brad asked Rebecca, “if we need the sound of a squeaky door…” and Rebecca did a beautiful “eeee-eeeeee-eeee!” (No one ever does Ryan’s “squeeeeky!” at these things!!) Brian was asked to make the sound of a beer can opening, and he was bang on. Colin and Brad strutted with confidence... they had two people who knew what to do!! Great fun to watch, although Brian didn’t seem to understand that he was ONLY supposed to do the effects for Colin. He was confusing things a bit because he was “on” all the time and Brad was getting two noises for each of his movements, but after a minute or so, Rebecca gestured to him from across the stage that “Brad’s mine!!” Brian got the idea. The scene developed into a fire at the furniture-manufacturing and paint plant that Colin and Brad were working in; the plant adjoined a fireworks plant and then a dynamite factory, so it was imperative to get the fire out quickly. Between various fire alarms and hoses and “pffff”-ing and hissings, Colin suddenly hollered out “The cat!!” That got a few howls from the audience! Then Colin decided they should call for help, and he dialed 911 and got the fire department (Brian) and shouted into the phone “we have a fire at the factory at First and Main!” And Brian answered: ... “where’s the fire?” Brian got a few good lines of his own in, and then Brad wanted to call for help through a rolled-up newspaper, I believe, and Rebecca gave him a deep-girlie “Help!” which echoed through the theatre. And because Brian and Rebecca were doing a fabulous job keeping up with the clues B&C were giving them, B&C challenged them even further, by giving out clues for when they were tunneling out of the basement to escape the fire – they trompled on spilled crunchy cereal, wind chimes, laughing hyenas, then had the local water tower collapse and spill its contents all over the fire ... all to keep Rebecca and Brian working hard… and they did!! Great job all around!

The next-to-last game was Sound FX. Two members of the audience were called up, again one male and one female. And they were surprisingly good, knew what to do, though the guy couldn't keep from laughing during the scene. If I remember correctly, the ending of this game brought the house down. Somehow, poo was brought up during the scene. And at one point, Brad was down behind Colin at around the butt level. Brad reached down to the floor and picked up one of the lines that had been read earlier from Sentences. The said line was "So, how about those Browns?" The house erupted in hysterics, and Brad said they couldn't have ended that scene like that if they tried. (or words to that effect).

9) Mousetrap/Alphabet Game in Reverse, backwards from “Zed”. Brad commented on “good old Canadian pronunciations!” Scene: Plunging the Toilet. I hate Mousetrap, and always will. Yet I’m ashamed to admit that I laughed my fool head off this time. I don’t know if the pain has a cumulative affect, or if the guys are faking it (which I highly doubt), but the howls and yelps and silent looks of agony were just too much. Aside from the usual delicate steppings, when things got silly and they started throwing traps at each other? Colin made one helluva shot. He blindly picked up one trap and flung it in Brad’s general direction – it literally latched on to the bottom of Brad’s shirt, right in front of his crotch. And just. Hung. There. Brad’s facial expression was to die for. The audience yelped in sympathetic pain and then howled in laughter. The wild tossings began, and then at one point they didn’t realize how close to each other they were, and accidentally bumped into each other and SCREAMED. Finally they both took their masks off and hurled the traps madly at each other. The jocularaties ended, bows and applause, and then... it was over. Standing ovation, as usual. Just a fabulous show. They HAVE to come back next year!

The final game of the night was also the most sadistic. Mousetraps. Colin and a few stagehands started laying down the 100 live traps on the stage, while Brad explained the game..."We have 100 live mousetraps. *mousetrap snaps in Colin's hand* We have 99 live mousetraps." I still think this is a terribly evil game, and can't be very fun for the two of them, but they braved it like troupers. Several times they traps snapped right on Brad's big toe. Ouch! He was hunched over in pain like that a few times. And at one point, Brad sneakily removed the blindfold goggles, took one of the traps and flung it at Colin, snapping mere inches from his groinal area. *cringe* But turnabout as fair play, Colin did the same near the end of the game, and the trap actually attached to Brad's shirt hanging around his crotch. The scene ended with the two of them just flinging the traps at each other with their masks off.

Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

In several interviews, Colin has described these improv shows as involving up to 80% audience participation. That has its good points and bad points, both of which Brad and Colin have learned to adapt to with finesse and humor. Their talent for doing so was displayed throughout this sold-out performance, their first of the year.

Brad and Colin came out with their usual flourish and fanfare and were greeted with much enthusiasm. Brad explained the nuts and bolts of how things would work, and asked how many people were familiar with "Whose Line." LARGE applause. "Well, this show will be similar to that in many ways." Many cheers from that. "Oh good, they like the show, this should work out well."

The games began with Moving Bodies. Lauren moved Brad and Ken moved Colin. The scene took place in Romania (point for me!), and, courtesy of the Oneida phonebook, would involve landscaping and "small backhoe jobs." (Colin mangled the pronunciation of "Oneida," was corrected by the entire audience, then said, "Hey, I'm from Canada, I won't care in two hours.")

Brad started by saying they should install the sprinkler "here." Lauren put Brad's finger up his nose, so he followed up with, "And we'll have to dig very deep." Colin walked over to help him, but was taking tiny steps, as Ken was moving Colin by poking him on the backs of his knees rapidly. Colin blamed his "tight pants," which he claimed to magically change out of. Colin wound up behind Brad, prompting him to ask if he'd seen "Brokeback Mountain." Then they were supposed to get onto a backhoe, but walked right past it. They ended up on a two-man riding lawnmower. They were supposed to be side to side, but in this case, side to side meant behind. This inspired more "Brokeback Mountain" comments, as well as Brad's wish that Colin was still wearing his tight pants.
The whole lawn-mower gig wasn't working out so well, so Brad instead asked Colin if he'd like to ride his camel. Colin answered that he hoped that wasn't a euphemism, then said okay. The camel went under Brad's legs to pick him up, then did the same for Colin, and then they both rode side-saddle. It ended when Brad's finger again wound up in the nostril vicinity and he complained that he had a camel fart headache. Yeah, that's where I'd end it, too.

New Choice involved making a bird house. Brad started the birdhouse (NC) the aviary estate and Colin said he'd help (NC) make crepes. There was a lot of crepe-making during the building of this birdhouse. The birds needed protection from bird poachers, so they'd the guard the house (NC) worms disguising the roof (NC) a moat around it, to thwart cats (NC) bird-eating items. There wasn't a lot of relentless honking during this game...until...
Brad asked Colin to name his three (NC) four favorite types of birds. Colin chose bluebirds, budgies, condors and eagles (NC) ostriches, greys, penguins, and something (NC) ibixes, pelicans, flamingos, and sparrows (NC) four penguins. At this point, Brad is shamelessly waving at the kids to honk the horn, but, bless his heart, Colin knows his birds. Then Colin got revenge on Brad by asking him his favorite types of birds and Brad got honked a couple of times, as well. Lots of cheering for our guys for this.

Dr. Seuss continues to be impossible to take notes during, because so much that is funny is lost. Colin asked for two items. Someone shouted out, "Comb!" Colin replied, "What's that for? Oh, yeah, right." And he also accepted a pingpong ball. From the phonebook, he got cardiologist. ("Ah yes, three easily rhymed words," he muttered.) Then the verbal dueling ensued. Brad impressed the heck outta me by rhyming all his cardiology/high cholesterol symptoms, while Colin struggled a bit. He does that struggle thing so well, though, that he had the audience on his side. (He seemed to have them at "hello." Lots o' cheering for the Snack Fairy. LOL)
Brad used the comb as his dueling weapon. Colin "bounced" the pingpong ball around a bit, then threw it at Brad's crotch. Brad tried to make a size joke, but was pretty sure he wasn't phrasing it correctly. (Brad does a good 'sheepish' face.) So Brad came back fast and furious with the rhyming bald jokes. (A lot of oooooohs during this.) Colin retaliated by saying he wasn't going to operate on him. Brad ended up apologizing. When the game was over, Colin asked Brad about his resolution regarding bald jokes. Brad blamed Colin for accepting "comb" in the first place. (Yeah, because he rejected "tutu.") Colin said, "Well, at least you went almost three whole games before it started." The two of them were in an UP mood, getting giggly and making faces at each other all night. It was as much fun watching them interact when it wasn't related to a game as during the "official" parts of the show.

Then it was on to Double Dub, "the worst game we play all night," according to Colin. Brad asked for a Fairy Tale, not a real one, something totally fictitious and made up. A woman in the back yelled, "Happily Married Couple." Yup, that's a made-up story, all right. She got a lot of laughs for that. (Not sure her husband, who was there with her, was amused, though. Oops.) Dave and Ann were called up to participate. Colin dubbed for Dave and Brad. Brad dubbed for Colin and Ann. I'm surprised but pleased to say that this went really smoothly. Ann caught on to the concept quickly. Dave was a bit slower in understanding who to look at when, but he made up for it with sheer enthusiasm. He got stuck doing some sort of dance of love and dance he did. Then Colin got stuck dancing, then it was Brad's turn. However, since Brad was doing Colin's voice, he had Colin tell he/Brad to stop the dance very quickly. They got into some sort of argument ("Brokeback Mountain" was again discussed). It can not be easy having an argument with someone else when you're the one putting the words into the other person's mouth. You could end up screwing yourself if you're not careful. Colin and Brad have steadily improved this game so it actually works well now.

The next game would be a Shakespearean drama about something Shakespeare didn't normally write about, Disney World. Sentences would have been a lot easier on Brad if audience members had actually written sentences on the cards he pulled out of the basket. He would pull out either blank cards, leaving him speechless for a moment, or snippets, instead of sentences. Brad pulled out, "The Cast of Whose Line," so he went on a roll. "Hey, Disney would be better with that tall skinny stork guy, that man of the Buddy Holly resemblance, that dark one with the lifts in his shoes to compensate for his lack of height, and that tall gorgeous one with the beautiful voice who sang all those songs." Into the silence, I yelled, "Chip!" Brad immediately gestured out into the audience. To me, it looked like the motion an umpire does for "OUT." However, from the volume and energy of laughter that followed, I imagine that, more accurately, a single digit was pointed outward. Hey, it was worth it for the laughs. Love ya, Brad!
Colin pulled, "Nice pants!" and half the audience died laughing again. However, the winning sentence went to Brad, who pulled, "Long Live the Snack Fairy!" You can not make that up. Heheheh.

The next audience member chosen was Tom, for Brad's Rap. Tom is from Rochester and works in computer marketing for Sun Microsystems. He reads English books. Brad took this to mean, books in English. Colin tried to help out by asking what he was currently reading. It was a book on physics. Great, an English book about Physics. Brad, you're on your own. So Brad went to Tom's wife, Ann, who says she calls Tom "Word Man," because he writes poetry about political humor. She also calls him Baldy. At this, Colin put his arms around Tom and told him there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Tom's dream job would be to do comedy. Tom didn't get an MC name, this time. Instead, he was to say "I'm the Word Man." (Honest, I thought Brad was going to go with MC Baldy, but maybe Colin would have killed him, so he didn't.)
Tom went all out on this. Had the arm gestures, had all these little hip motions, everything. And deepened his voice on his "I'm the Word Man" line. Brad teased a lot in his rap about the English, the poetry, and the physics. Colin did his "mic" thing and rap record thing, and danced with two other guys brought up on stage. These audience members, all of them, were really into this show. They really had a good time. (I cheered Tom outside afterwards. He was quite pleased.)

Next came an odd moment. During the break between games, some girl yelled out, "We want Ryan!" As one, the entire audience BOOED her. BOOED. Brad was all, "Awwww, and here I thought we were all bonding tonight. Well, we wanted your more successful family members here, too" and kept asking who had said that. Guess we booed her into shame, 'cause no one owned up to it. It really was rude of her to say such a thing, and I'm glad she got called on it, 'cause I got news for her. No offense to the tall one, but no one else is missing Ryan at these shows. Brad is a ton of talent on that stage and does not get the recognition he deserves.

Sound Effects involved the last two audience members of the evening. Lisa did sounds for Brad, and failed the squeaky door test miserably. Mike did sounds for Colin and that was some powerful pressure Colin's shaken beer can was under. Whoa, baby. The scene involved the US Postal Service. Brad started by sorting mail and saying, "Sure is a lot of mail for Ryan Stiles." (Yeah, Brad, make that chick blush. Show her who rules.)
The actual sound effects were quite lame, with Lisa unable to make an ice cream truck sound, a megaphone cry for GET OUT, or a weather report, well, other than wind sounds. However, a lack of sound talent can turn out to be the funniest part of the scene, too, as Mike found out. Colin prompted him to sing Johnny Cash, and that's exactly what Mike did. He literally sang, "Jooohhhnnnyyy Caaaaash" in this deep voice. They milked that for all it was worth for the rest of the game, and by the end of it, even Colin and Brad were laughing at it and prompting it at every turn. Rabid dog sings, "Joooohhhhnnnnyyy Caaaaash." Ice cream truck noise, "Joooohhhhnnnnnyyyy Caaaaaaash." God, it was hilarious. Laughter, laughter, everywhere and not a single note sung.

And, the ever-popular, Mousetrap Game, which became the second most dangerous improv game when a good 20 of the traps were set off during the set-up. An arbitrary cry of "The Boogeyman!" set the scene, and then the traps started flying. I think the month's vacation gave the guys' feet time to heal, because these seemed to hurt more than usual this time around. It took a long time for each sentence to make it out from whoever was saying it. They also started throwing the traps early. Brad managed to hit Colin in the crotch twice while still wearing the goggles! Colin, for his part, managed to trap a lot of Brad's clothing, leaving traps hanging off his shirt. Brad took his goggles off first, but one direct hit later, Colin had his off, too. The audience cheered every snap and toss, every movement and motion, and showed their love with laughter.

This is audience participation, people.

Written by Kyle Sarvey and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

I love Colin so much. I bought tickets and they were general admission so I showed up early. It was a good hour before we got in and I had front row seats. They were right on time when the show started at 8. They came out and everyone was cheering, me especially.

Moving Bodies
They picked two people from the audience. The scene was Colin and Brad were driving, and then Brad ended up getting drunk. It was funny, but the people moving Colin and Brad were shy and didn't do much body movement.

New Choice
Colin and Brad called up three kinds for this segment. However two extra kids came up and things got really tricky. The scene was Brad was the host for a BBQ, and Colin was visiting him. The kids kept chaning it, and it really was funny how on the ball you have to be to keep throwing down lines. Brad really excelled in keeping his lines flowing.

Dr. Seuss
Colin and Brad performed this by themselves. Colin was a plastic surgeon and Brad was a person going in to schedule an operation. This game was very funny seeing as the words they had to rhyme with was "waffle" and "spatula." They didn't really use those words. It was so funny at the end of the bit. They got down to using words that end with "uck" and Brad really utilized every "uck" word, and they kept going until Colin ended the segment by saying "Of, F***!"

Double Dub
For this game Colin and Brad selected people from the audience and had them improvise voices for each other. I didn't pay too much attention or really care for this game. It got really confusing when the were performing actions and talking at the same time.

*INTERMISSION*

Crime Scene Confession
Colin was the detective and Brad ended up being the criminal confessing his crime. This bit was very funny seeing as the crime was very hard. Brad ended up finally getting it all in one line. Brad (Criminal): Was wearing a one piece track suit, a gimp suit, and a casic?, he killed a rabbit goldfish with alka seltzer while eating wet pancakes. I left out some parts because I forgot them. It seems like an endless list when brad had to list them. Very funny
Sentences
This game was done speaking in a Shakespeare tounge. The scene was Colin and Brad going fishing. They came down in the audience and picked index cards that had lines that the audience wrote. They did a good job at keeping the story line flowing with the outlandish lines they were given. Very Funny.

Rap
Brad really performed this scene. He picked a volunteer fire fighter from the crowd. The man's MC name that he got from his wife was "MC Retardo." Brad did an insanely good freestyle and Colin danced very well was a back up dancer. Very funny, with the addition of the rap beat and lights in the background.

Sound FX
This scene was in a laundrymat. The people that went up weren't that good. The lady kept laughing on Colin's parts. The other guy kept making fart noises on Brad's parts. It was funny, but really ruined the game.

Mouse Traps
In this brutal and painfull game, Colin and Brad set up 100 mousetraps, or as Brad says Weapons of Mouse Destruction on the floor. They then pick a letter and have to keep their conversation going with the next letter in the alphabet. Their topic was about making shoelaces. They asked anyone if they wanted to test if the mouse traps were real, and a guy raised his hand. He went up and it snapped on his hand and they were like "Your the first person to ever attempt that." They were walking over the mouse traps blindfolded and they were getting their toes clipped left and right. They began to throw them at each other. They kept missing. This went on for like two minutes. Brad finally realized Colin wouldn't know if he took off his blindfold. So Brad took it off and began throwing them at Colin's crotch. Colin finally relized it. They walked in the center of the stage and ended the show.

The show was great. I'm going to their next show at UCONN in Storrs, Connecticut. I love to go to their improv shows everytime they turn up in Connecticut. One small rant I have about the show is that when Colin & Brad ask for "volunteers" they actually pick people. This isn't like Wayne Brady's shows when he actually picks the people who want to participate. The people that go up often have stage fright and don't really perform to their max. It is also a bit of a downer, when I'm a diehard fan and people go up and hold back. I hope in the next show (January 20), I'll have more luck and I'll get on stage with my idols: Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood!

Written by Katy Harter and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Had SO much fun last night!!

I arrived at Celebrity Theater around 6:40, and had a lot of time to spare. On the way to the show, we stopped to buy a camera, which my dad was sure to get confiscated, but when I arrived I was pleasantly surprised to find that cameras were allowed. So first, a trip to the bathroom to unhide my hidden camera*grin*. I found my seats, section A2, row 8, right in the middle of the row. After I had purchased my tickets, I read somewhere that the orchestra pit was 'like an ocean between you and the performer'. Compared to the sections next to me, it was, but I wasn't disappointed at all! The stage at Celebrity is round and there were two screens on either side of the stage, which Brad and Colin would you a whole lot throughout the whole show. I decided that I had enough time to get a drink, so I bought a coke, and went back to my seat to wait.

The show was scheduled to start at 7:30, it didn't start on time, but it wasn't to late. When the lights finally dimmed, the audience cheered, and not long after, Brad and Colin were introduced and they both ran onto the stage. Brad was sporting a tan(I think),patterned collared shirt, dark blue jeans, and black shoes with black socks. Colin was wearing a black long sleeve collared shirt, black jeans, and black high top converse with black socks as well. They talked for a few minutes, but mostly talked about the screens by the stage. Or as Brad called them 'mini-trons', because they were not quite jumbo-trons. I REALLY don't think that they knew the screens were going to be there. "Wow, I got a cute butt," Brad decided, and Colin finally learned the truth. "I think I'm losing my hair."

The first game they played was moving bodies. Colin had a volunteer, who he would use through the whole show, flip through the phone book, and she stopped on car wash. They then asked for a European country other then France, and they got Bulgaria. They then got two volunteers who would move them, but at times during the game, only one of them would be moving Brad and Colin at a time. I don't remember much from this game, but in the very beginning, the woman who was moving Colin, almost made him do a nosedive to the floor. The other volunteer as titled by Brad, was a "moving bodies genius". He did a REALLY good job of moving both Brad and Colin at the same time during a "race".

The next game was double dub.(A very confusing game) The two volunteers were chosen, and Colin asked for a suggestion of a fairy tale. 'Norman the Gnome' was the chosen one and both Colin and Brad seemed very pleased. It was some type of gnome day competition, and one of the games in the competition was the song and tumble. My favorite part of this game was Colin, who was dubbing for Brad, wouldn't let Brad speak, forcing him to do a tumble on the floor. After Brad's tumble, Brad prepared us for Colin, who was actually Norman's tumble. After telling us about Norman's song and tumble which would take up the whole stage, Colin leaped and jumped around the stage, and then I believed ended the game with an "injury".

After that, they played the Dr.Seuss game. I wish I had remembered some of the rhymes from this game, because I think that this had to be one of my favorite games all night. Colin once again went to his phone book person, and she stopped on gift baskets. After both Brad and Colin laughed about this, they then got suggestions of random objects; a light bulb and as Colin called it, "the always rhyme friendly toothpaste". Brad was going into Colin's gift basket shop to buy a gift basket for his friend. There were LOTS of great banter between the two, resulting in a toothpaste and light bulb fight. Lot's of mention during the game of Brad's small balls?! Overall a GREAT game.

New choice was next. Whenever I've seen or heard of this game done live, it never seems to work well, and tonight wasn't any different. First Brad asked for a suggestion of a project that he and Colin could be working on. Someone suggested scrapbooking, which both Colin and Brad laughed at. After this suggestion was made, Brad walked to the end of the stage and looked for the audience member. "I can't see you ma'm, but I'm guessing you're wearing a crotched sweater with a cat on it. Once the game got started, the three kids that had been brought up to play NEVER STOPPED HONKING THEIR HORNS! Colin and Brad were getting annoyed at them, and once suggested that they were going to strangle the kids and torture them. Colin went over and teased one of the girls with her horn and some point. Not sure how this game ended, but there was a mention of pudding stroganoff. Colin also decided that this game, will never be played again. He seemed a tad frustrated.

The next game was crime scene, and after hearing so much about this game, I was really looking forward to it. Brad left the stage, and took an audience member with him. One of the stage hands didn't turn Brad's microphone off right away, so Colin was laughing that you could still hear Brad and the audience member backstage. It was decided that while wearing pink bunny ears that were on fire, six inch heels, and being painted like a zebra, Brad flogged a fish, and hijacked a zamboni, in Ahwatukee, at the prosthetics and t;)ie boutique with a hamster wheel. I was SO impressed with this game. Colin's clues were hilarious. At one point Colin was acting out a Zamboni, and Brad said Zamboni but he also said, 'unless you were a gay penguin'. To try and get Ahwatukee, Colin hinted Chewbacca, and Brad ended up saying Ahwawookie. To try and get the painted part, Colin said something like this at the "window":"Oh look, our neighbors are moving. They're packing all of the stuff into their van. Van..go...Van.. go." It was SO funny. I can't remember why, but at some point Brad was saying Hawa-Johnson, like the hotel, and that made me laugh. GREAT scene.

*INTERMISSION*

After the intermission all the papers were collected and sentences were played. The scene was a soap opera where an alien invasion was taking place. Brad and Colin made fun of the stage crew a lot, because I guess the stage was supposed to be rotating, and it wasn't, so they made that, and the dead spot where there microphones wern't working, part of the signs that an alien was invading. The thing that stands out for me during this scene, was at some point, Colin pulled out a slip of paper, read it, and crumpled it up. Brad grabbed it, and begin to tear it into pieces. The audience begin to boo because we really wanted him to read it. "Okay, you want to know what it said? It said crushed fetus okay?Geez, sometime you've got to take our word for it." Nothing really great that I remember from this game, but in the end, Brad teased the person who came up with that suggestion, saying that someone has a lot of soul searching to do. Not bad overall.

Rap was the next game, and one of the highlights of the night. Brad called up Lou on stage, and begin to ask him question. Lou was from Tucson, which brought on a lot of booing from the audience. Brad then asked what Lou does, and he said he cheers on the University of Arizona Wildcats. That got even MORE boos, so every time Brad mentioned Tucson or the Wildcats, everyone would start booing. Colin and Brad were definitely not expecting it, they seemed really surprised. Lou was at the show with his girlfriend, and so Brad asked for a nickname that she called Lou. Brad hinted at something cutesy and fun, but Lou's nickname was Omar. We all got a big laugh from that. There was a guy heckling from the audience, and so he was eventually brought up on stage as a back-up dancer, and another guy who Colin said could kick his ass, so he was brought up as well to dance. The rap started and there were random smoke machines that went off. By far the BEST part of the game was hearing Colin doing his beat box, and "scratch" records. Lou finally said his rap name(MC Lou)in time with this beat, so the rap ended. Hilarious!!

The next game was Sound Effects, and they brought up the two volunteers and Colin once again went to the phone book audience member, and she stopped on heat-pumps. So Brad and Colin were going to fix someone's heat pump and they eventually found out that the house was on fire. The audience members didn't do to badly, but at one point the girl that they had called up, mad some strange duck noise and Brad totally lost it. Colin had to use his bullhorn to get the people out of the house, and this girl, after having the bullhorn set on sissy, she yelled " Get your ass out of that building!" I'm not a big fan of this game, but it was played very well.

The last game was mousetraps, and the scene was that Brad and Colin were gardening. This game is SO painful to watch. Both guys got snapped pretty bad at some points, and eventually, Colin begin to throw the traps at Brad's ass,and to the front of his jeans, and on his arms. At one point, Brad let out this really high pitched girly scream. It cracked me up.Pretty funny game.

At the end of the show, everyone gave them a standing ovation as they ran offstage. SUCH a fun night, and totally worth it. I highly recommend the show, and wouldn't mind going all over again. Two hours of FABULOUS comedy!!

Written by little quirk and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

I didn’t take a lot of notes at this show, because I really just wanted to sit back and enjoy it. I needed a break from school and certain issues I was dealing with at the time, so this was a nice treat for me to have. Plus, I was able to hang out with my parents and best friend for a day!

Attire
Colin-all black w/ converse high tops
Brad-floral print/stripe shirt w/ jeans

The show started a little after 8 with an introduction by one of the students (loud applause by the audience). Both came on smiling and waving. Brad said hello first and Colin then tried to say hello, but realized his mike pack wasn’t on. Brad said, “You on?” and Colin fiddled with it and half laughing said yes.
Brad did most of the intros talking about the show and Colin did his little bit about how people who thought whose line was scripted were bastards. They did the usual everyone shout out different things to get us warmed up.

Moving Bodies
Colin then looked out into the audience and pointed at a couple to have them come up on stage. There was some confusion I guess, and Colin said, “No, the couple I’m pointing to!” while gesturing very obviously at two people. The little issue was finally resolved and Marcy and Charles ended up coming to the stage. They played moving bodies with Marcy moving Brad and Charles moving Colin. Colin described what they had to do and was depressed after realizing he got the short end of the stick when it came to, “touch him here if you want him to go home with you.” Kinda cute.
Their scene was based in Holland, dealing with some type of health service that covered a wide range of medical problems as chosen from the yellow pages. Colin read the full description of the service and one of the topics was mammograms. He, however, pronounced it like mammygrams, to which Brad gave him a weird look and said, “Mammygrams?” Colin chuckled a little and said, “Yes. Mammygrams………mammO.” Funny little banter.
Brad was a vet at first with Colin being the patient getting help. Colin decided it wasn’t a very good idea to have Brad treat him because he was a vet and not a real doctor; however, he kept letting Brad give him shots and the like. Brad seemed adamant that Colin had worms. They ended up going to a clinic nearby on Brad’s scooter. It turned into a slinky scooter at one point because Charles fell behind in getting Colin’s legs to move. They both did a fairly good job at getting the guys to move around, though. I noticed that Charles was doing a lot of poking and hitting to get Colin’s legs to move. Marcy seemed to be doing the best job at getting Brad to walk around the stage “normally” but it ended up in both of them looking like they were half animatronic. At one point, Colin and Brad had to move toward a medicine cabinet and Colin just shouted out, “Race you!” to which Brad replied, “Eat my dust sucker!” This just made me giggle, so I wrote it down. Razz

New Choice
I believe Brad picked three little kids from the audience for this game. Two were boys and one was a girl, who couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. She was so cute standing in between the two boys. Their names were Sam, Ben, and Kayla. Colin explained what was going to happen during the game and the kids’ roles in it. One of the little boys then did a little evil hand rubbing together which Colin and Brad found funny.
Colin went on to say that the game was called kick the child, which got a good laugh from the audience. He backtracked saying he was only joking and got a suggestion of a project to work on. The loudest person was of course chosen and shouted out toothpaste factory. Brad and Colin were a little stunned at the suggestion, but took it anyway. The kids were pretty tame compared to other reports I’ve heard. Brad seemed to be the only one obviously egging them on to change what Colin was saying.
Two of the funniest line I wrote down were: “Brush Your Teeth for Adventures Until You Need Dentures” – Brad “I lust after bagpipes!” –Colin
There was also a little exchange about the flavors of toothpaste and I remember them ending on garlic and basil, because then your breath would still smell bad even though your teeth were clean. It made no sense, but was funny at the time.

Dr. Seuss
I didn’t take many notes for this because I really wanted to just watch it. I was anxious to see it after reading the many reports saying how funny it was, and I wasn’t disappointed. They took a 24hr auto glass repair shop from the yellow pages, as well as horseradish and trombone for two objects. The audience definitely did a good job at providing the guys with very random suggestions tonight. Razz
Colin was the auto glass repair owner, while Brad was a customer who had a broken windshield. Apparently, Colin’s slogan was “Yippee I O, Yippee Ki A,” or some alternate version of “Yipee Ki A” depending on what he needed to rhyme. It became he favorite get-out-quick line for the entire game.
Brad pulled a groaner near the end of the game with his line of, “I’ll knock you down and you’ll be flat” in reference to Colin having a trombone to beat up Brad, who had the horseradish. It didn’t seem like many people in the audience got it, but then again, I come from a family of musicians so I got it right away. ;)

Sentences
The scene they did for this was Shakespeare style with Colin being Testiclese and Brad being Portfolio. (They must fall back on these names all the time.) The audience was again generous in their left-field suggestions, with Pluto being the place where the scene was set. I think both guys were surprised at the suggestion, but it’s always cool to see what they do when challenged with something like that. Colin ended up making it so that aliens were attacking the base he was in charge of on Pluto.
I was amazed in the beginning, because Colin started out the scene with a monologue that lasted a good 2 minutes straight. And he did it with and English accent that didn’t seem to waver at all! In fact, both the guys kept their accents fairly well throughout the night, which was good on one hand, but left me a little sad. I like it when the accents start to roam. It provides that little extra humor to the scene.
The only downfall to the audience the entire night ended up being this game. Even though they provided a great suggestion for he guys to work off of, the front rows that had the slips of paper couldn’t write complete sentences at all. A good 50% of the papers that the guys pulled were incomplete sentences. It made them and me a little irritated by the end of the game.
Here’s some of the “sentences” that they pulled:
“ My dog is ill.”-Colin
“ My butt it made of botox.”-Brad
“ How does he smell.”-Colin
The inhabitants of the base were going to mutiny against Colin because of how he smelled. Brad said it was because he was using the garlic and basil toothpaste.
“ Your mom.”-Colin
“ My bad. I didn’t know it was a…”-Colin
“ Do you have a pencil dick?”-Colin
This is what Colin said to his dad before he died. Brad turned it into Colin’s dad being named Richard, so the scene wouldn’t turn too dirty. ;)
“ Why are you so good to me?”-Colin
“ Smarter than average.”-Brad
“ England expects…”- ??
“ Hey! Here’s my cell number. Make it vibrate.”-Brad
“ Are you absolutely sure that little thing can do the job?”-Brad
“ Get out of town!”-Colin’s last words in case he is killed by the aliens
Colin directed it at Brad first and Brad said he was going to leave. Colin replied, “Yea, save your botox ass.”
“ My that’s a quirky shirt.”-Brad
This turned out to be my absolute favorite. One, because of my last name and two, because Brad started to giggle, which set Colin off on a little giggling fit. They both agreed that his shirt was quirky. Razz I thought it was nice. It was certainly better than some shirts he’s had.

Sound Effects
Ginny and Steve were brought up on stage to provide the sound effects for the guys. Ginny did Brad’s sounds while Steve did Colin’s sounds. Colin had Ginny practice by doing a squeaky door sound and Steve do another sound I can’t remember at the moment. Ginny was clearly the better person, which kind of surprised me. Usually the woman they bring on stage is the quite one and the guy is the loud one. It was the other way around this time.
Colin went back to the yellow pages for a company to base their scene off of. He landed on a paving company. He started to read the ad and pronounced asphalt like ashphalt. Brad caught him right away and told him how to pronounce it the correct way, to which Colin replied it was a Canadian thing. Razz
They started off by Colin getting Brad a cup of cappuccino, but his cappuccino maker was broken. Brad said it couldn’t be because he just filled it up that morning, so he went over to the machine and promptly produced a steaming hot cup of cappuccino. Somehow he chugged the cup and burned his “eshophogus.” (A little stab at Colin’s pronunciation again. Razz)
Then they took their car, which had problems starting up, and rode out to their first job of the day. On the way they encountered some crows, which apparently had low self esteem because they weren’t very enthusiastic while cawing. They also tried listening to some Johnny Cash on the radio, but forgot they had the tape of Johnny Cash’s autobiography because all you heard was, “I’m Johnny Cash and I sing songs.” It’s fun to see what the participants will do when they’re prompted to sing like different artists. Brad wanted to listen to a Spanish soccer game instead, so he switched to that channel. He was a bit disappointed when all that came out was, “Hola.”
After they arrived at the site, they noticed a fire in some brush in front of an apartment complex. They found the culprits to be the arsonist snakes they heard about on the news. They let the snake slither away while they warned the people in the apartments about the fire with a bullhorn. Brad tried it out first, but Colin had him stop because it was on the Barney setting. He then took the bullhorn from Brad and ended up being a Spanish soccer sportscaster.
“ (Spanish blabber)….ggggggoooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Rap
Brad picked a guy from the audience based on his looks this time. It was an elderly gentleman who could have been Santa’s stunt double. His name was Frank and he was from Gregsville, NY, which was five miles from Geneseo. Brad tried to get his wife Carol to say any nicknames she had for Frank, but she refused because they weren’t appropriate. Frank said he didn’t have any nicknames for his wife, so that line of questioning was brought to a dead end. Brad did, however, manage to get that Frank and his family have a truck stop restaurant that’s called the Barn Restaurant, he does play Santa at some local venues during Christmas time, he like to collect antiques and old cars, and he enjoys watching TV, especially Whose Line. Brad complimented him on his taste in television of course. Franks seemed like he was having a good time and was fairly easy to get info from. His rap name, picked by Brad, was MC Clause
After questioning Frank, Brad picked two older guys (Jeff & Kevin) from the audience to come up and be the back-up dancers along with Colin. (He ended up nicknaming Colin C-Diddy. Razz) They were quite entertaining throughout the rap, and Colin seemed to actually be following the one guy closest to him as far as dance moves. I found that to be pretty funny. And of course C-Diddy did an awesome job at beatboxing. ;)

Written by Anita and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Brad and Colin were announced and they made a “grand” entrance. They didn’t just walk onto the stage, no. They were on this cart that the stage assistant pushed onto the stage. They both held this “we’re big star, kind of like an incredible hulk, we’re “big stars” stance. This was the first time that I seen them make a grand entrance like this. It was funny.

One of them asked the audience if they ever watched the show Whose Line. There was a thunderous applause. One of them asked “How many of them thought that Whose Line wasn’t improvised. There were a few people who clapped. Colin remarked with “You Bastards.” In my opinion, it just amazes me how skeptical people are. I think this is a big offense to the improvers on Whose Line. Please, you go up there on stage and see how well you improvise a scene.

Other odds and ends:
• They had a ceramic bowl for the pieces of paper for sentences to go in not the basket. The other shows that I went to had a wicker basket. Maybe it was supplied by the “Overture Center” which a ceramic bowl fits in what I call “typical Madison”. A city that has to be different from everywhere else.
• Colin wore all black
• Brad’s shirt-I admit I can’t explain the design and the color of the shirt very well. From where I was sitting I couldn’t tell if it was grey or purple. Maybe the show review in the local paper will have a picture.
• Colin brought out the local Madison/surrounding area telephone book. So for any game that they needed a specific place. They randomly flipped through the yellow pages and have an audience member stopped at a page and just point to a place on the page. For the other two shows that I went to last year they didn’t do this.
• In one of the games, I don’t remember which one, Brad referred to Colin in the “Snack Fairy Commercial”. He said something about a man being in a fairy costume carrying a magic wand. Colin gave him a dirty look.

Moving Bodies

The place from random choice from the phone book was a door sales and repair shop. The audience suggested the country to be Denmark. Colin read a little bit of the description of what this store did from the ad in the yellow pages. Brad did a wonderful job explaining to the volunteers on how to move Colin and Brad. The gentleman didn’t appear to have listened very well to Brad though. He moved Colin by pulling at the front of his pants and then hitting the back of the leg. Colin’s mover had him walking so awkwardly and in a stagger that Brad commented to him. “You seem to be staggering. You’ve got to cut down on the alcohol. Colin commented after watching Brad’s person move Brad “I admire your walking style”.

In the midst of the game, Brad and Colin were on a moped to go to the store. First they turned the moped to the right. Their movers had Colin and Brad stand right next to one another facing right. Then they made a left turn. Brad was in front, who faced left and Colin’s mover kept him facing straight. So Brad’s joke was “I guess that I made the turn and you kept going straight.

They ended up buying a door at this store or maybe they stole it. At first they picked up this small door that would fit a playhouse then finally they found the one that was the perfect size. They never made it to the cashier to pay for the door so maybe they did steal it.

Colin commented to Brad that he had bruises on his legs from his mover. He demonstrated to Brad how the guy moved him.

Dubbing
Two audience members were pulled. It was a couple who came together.
The phone book was brought out again and the random choice of a mortuary on the Madison south side. The style was soap opera. It was the first time I’ve seen this game and it’s amazing how Colin and Brad have each other’s dubbing movements down. If I remember correctly, Brad dubbed for Colin and the male audience member. Colin dubbed for Brad and the lady audience member.

I think Colin was the manager of the mortuary, Brad was a customer and I think the both the lady and guy worked at the mortuary. I don’t know the correct job title for the people who prepare the body for the funeral.

• Brad admitted that he thought that Colin was the sexist guy he had ever seen.
• The lady audience member had to pick between Colin and the male audience member by giving them a kiss on the cheek. She picked the male audience member.
• The lady audience member got to pinch Colin’s and Brad’s butt
• I think Brad and Colin pinched each other’s butt<