Written by colinrocks and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

The show started at 8pm. Colin and Brad came running out! Everyone was cheering and clapping. Brad was wearing a black shirt with dark stripes and jeans. Colin was wearing a black shirt, black pants and black low- top converses. The stage is called “the round” because it is a circular stage in the middle of the theatre.

Intro: Brad made a joke about how the stage looks like a sumo wrestling ring. Him and Colin started to pretend they were sumo wrestling. We all laughed. Colin then asked who thought Whose Line? was scripted. There were a bunch of people who cheered and raised their hands. Colin said “Then, you guys are bastards.” Everyone got a kick out of that. Brad explained how the show would work. Then, they started off the night with Moving Bodies.

Moving Bodies: Colin and Brad picked Joe and Michelle. The scene took place in Czechoslovakia. Colin got out the Nassau County phone book and asked some lady to put her finger on any random page in the book. It landed on Residential Movers. So, Colin and Brad were to do a scene taking place in Czechoslovakia as Residential Movers. Michelle was moving Brad and Joe was moving Colin. Michelle starts moving Brad and commanding him to walk. He starts walking the opposite way of Colin. (That’s the way she was moving him) Joe doesn’t move Colin. So, Colin says to Brad: “I’ll just stand here and think.” Then, Joe gets the hint to move Colin. Michelle starts moving Brad’s arms and Joe is making Colin walk. But, his legs are getting tangled. He would twist Colin’s body around and his legs would twist. Colin finally starts “walking” only he’s walking in crazy ways. Colin says to Brad: “I’m drunk! I’m being drunk!” Brad replies “I guess I won’t let you drive the truck.” Joe stops moving him again or just starts randomly moving him. (I can’t remember) So, at this point, Colin had a confused look on his face. He says to Brad “Where’s the damn truck?” Brad’s watching Colin move now and he says “You’re so limber!” Colin is walking like he’s drunk again and he says to Brad “Look! I’m Jerry Lewis!” Brad is still walking and he challenges Colin to a race to the other end of the round. He says to Colin in a Czech accent “You can’t beat me, I’m quick like bunny!” They say “We should start to put some heavy things into the truck.” Colin moves over to the table that’s off to the side of the stage. He picks up the phonebook and says “I’ve got a phonebook!” Then, the game ended.
Next, came New Choice.

New Choice: Colin picked three kids that looked like they were about 10 or so. One was wearing a Yankees jersey, so I said to my mom “This looks like trouble, they picked a Yankee fan.” I remember two of the kid’s names. They were Rebecca, Graham, and there was another boy whose name I cannot remember. Brad tells the kids where to stand, but he realizes there was a soda spill there, so he takes them over to the other side of the round. He says to the kids, “It’s okay, that’s just an active wire.” Then, he mumbles loud enough for some people to hear: “This is gonna be a lawsuit.” Colin and Brad were Siding Contractors for this scene. Brad starts off by “putting up siding.” He says “I just finished the siding!” (NC) (I don’t remember what he says next) Colin says “Really, I didn’t notice.” Brad is saying something about what kind of siding it was. (NC) “It is made of large chunks of cheese!” (NC) “It is made of petrified weasel parts!” Colin says “I’m going to work on the roof.” (NC) “I’m going to get the electric cat.” (NC) “I am going on the roof to see if I can fly!” Brad says something about what they should do next. (NC) He says “We should pee our names into the snow!” “Look at all this fluffy, white snow!” (NC) “Look at all this dandruff!” Colin raises his fist and says “I call this Olympia!” Brad tells him “It’s time to get the money out of my pants pocket.” (NC) Colin mouths to the kids “Thank you!” I believe Colin was saying something about what something was called. (NC) Colin then says “Let’s kill the kids with the horns!” Brad makes a bunch of crap references. Then, Colin says “I have to get a vasectomy.” I think Colin did something to tick off Brad because he then says “Just a small asterisk reminding me to kick your ass!” Colin says to Brad “I’m leaving your sister.” (NC) “I’m sleeping with your mother.” (NC) “I’m fondling your father.” New Choice ends.
They go onto Freeze. Brad referred to it as The Torture Game.

Freeze: For those of you who don’t know this game, they took a bunch of games from Green Screen and Whose Line and created one huge game. So, they picked a woman out of the audience to sit on the stool off to the side of the round with a microphone and a list of games. So, they needed a suggestion for a job (from the yellow pages, of course.) Then, they also added something to the scene. They took a suggestion for a hobby. They were upholsterers and it took place at a pool hall putting felt on pool tables. They started the scene normally and then, when either Colin or Brad said “Freeze” that would be the woman’s cue to read the first game off the list. (They played Questions Only, 1 Syllable Word, If You Know What I Mean, Changed Letter- S replaces M, and Dr. Seuss.)
Brad says to Colin “What is the name of your place?” Colin replies “Jerry’s” Brad says “I guess you are Jerry, then.” Colin said “No, Jerry died in a pool cue accident.” FREEZE! (Colin created walking pool tables)
Questions Only- Brad says “When did you create walking pool tables?” I think Colin replied. Colin says “Can you guess what happens when I squeeze these balls?” Brad says something. Colin says “Don’t you know they’re plutonium pool balls?” FREEZE!
1 Syllable Word- Colin says to Brad “I need you to put felt on the pool thing!” I believe Brad responds to this. Then, Colin says that his “balls” have good boom. Brad says, “You have good boom?” Colin replies, “Good boom is used to fight the bad people, not friends.” Brad says back to him something. Colin says, “I did a check on you.” Brad asks, “You did a check on me? What did you find?” Colin replies “Nothing.” The audience cracks up. Now that I think about this, I think that is 2 syllables. Colin quickly shouts “Nuts! I found nuts!” Brad says “I used to sell nuts, now you want me to put felt on balls.” FREEZE!
If You Know What I Mean: Colin replies to what Brad said with this statement: “I don’t think you can handle these balls IYKWIM.” Brad says, “Jerry got killed by that long, hard cue IYKWIM.” Colin says something about that. Brad answers “Look I don’t want to cone between your stick and your balls IYKWIM.” Colin says “I’m not gonna cut your stick off IYKWIM.” FREEZE!!
Change Letter (S becomes M): Brad replies “What are you trying to may?” Colin says something. Brad says “You know what, you can just kimm my amm! Come on, jackamm!” Colin replies to that with “I’ll put my cue mick in your ammhole!” “mo?” says Brad. “Jackamm.” Colin asks “Can we mart from the beginning?” Brad replies “May your morry!” Colin says “I’m morry!” Brad exclaims “May it like you mean it!” Colin says “I’m morry! I’m being mincere!” Brad says “You have to pay mixty five thousand dollarm!” Colin shouts “You’ve got to be kidding me!” FREEZE!
Dr. Seuss- (here come the uck endings) Brad says to Colin “Good luck my friend, I wish you luck!” Colin replies “Here’s a down payment of a buck!” Brad says something else ending with uck, which I don’t remember. Colin responds by saying “You’ll be American, I’ll be a Canuck!” That game ends. Next came the most dangerous improv game.
Mousetraps/Alphabet: They played this game without the safety rope. I was surprised! They put out 100 traps. While Colin and the helper guys put out the traps, one went off. Brad says “Now we have only 99.” I think they started with the letter “G”. Brad makes a joke. He says that there is a mouse in the “trap door” under the stage and they were trying “to catch it.” The scene was steaming broccoli. Brad says “Friggin rats are everywhere!” Colin and Brad took off their shoes and everyone was cheering. They were blindfolded and the game began. There were tons of screams of pain by Colin and Brad. Colin asked Brad “Quiet all of a sudden, What are you doing?” Brad replied “Rinsing the broccoli!” Everybody cracked up. Then, towards the end of the game, Brad took his blindfold off and started taking traps and throwing them at Colin. Then, Colin took his blindfold off and a mousetrap fight broke out. They threw traps at each other. Colin and brad couldn’t find each other with the blindfolds on, so some of the audience members would shout out “To the left!” or “Right behind you!” Colin got Brad in the hand. Brad screamed in pain. When Colin threw a trap at Brad’s shirt, it got stuck to it until after the game. They got traps tuck to their toes a couple of times. It was a very fun game.

Then, there was a 15-minute intermission. My mom and I reviewed the pictures we had. Then, I checked over my notes. Most of the theatre had cleared out. After intermission, the announcer announced Colin and Brad again and they came running out!

Sentences: They started the second half of the show with Sentences. It was a Shakespearian scene about potatoes. The potatoes were gone. Colin says “I fear all is lost without the potato.” He picks a line out. It says “Do you smell something.” Brad Colin a Shakespearian nickname. He nicknamed Colin, King Spudacus. (which he later changed to King Fartacus) Colin gave brad the nickname of King Testiclees. Brad picks out a line. He reads it. It says “So, how long have you had a wildebeest?” Colin responds to that. Brad starts making a bunch of potato- related puns. Colin picks out a line. He reads it. It says “I’ve always liked them, can I have both of them?” I don’t remember what Brad says, but I believe he replied to that. Brad picks out a line “I’ll tell you, Flo, no one makes chicken like you do.” Brad then says “Let’s hash this out!” They pick out a bunch of lines. Colin picks another one: “Who upholstered this mousetrap to my pool table?” Brad replies “I, King Testiclees wouldn’t want one stuck to mine!” Colin tells us of his father (in the scene) whose last words were “I want to show you how much boom I have in my balls.” Then, Colin says “I smacked him after that.” He then says “He gave me his cannonballs when he died.” Brad asks “He gave you his big balls?” Colin ends the scene by saying “I still have those balls to this day.” Next came Sound Effects.

Sound Effects: They picked Christie and Mike for this one. Colin asks Christie “Christie, if Brad were to open a squeaky door, let’s hear the squeak.” (or something along those lines) She makes a squeaking sound. Brad asks Mike “Mike if Colin were to open a beer can”- Brad can’t even finish his sentence because Mike made the beer opening sound. Brad goes to get the phonebook and he reads the cover. “Nassau Yellow Pages. Is Nassau like the county? A bunch of people including me said “Yeah, Nassau is the county.” The place the scene took place was in a pizza/picture place. (In the phonebook, the pizza place was called Picture Pizza, or something along those lines.) Colin comes in “late to work” at the pizza place. Brad goes over the “4 P’s” of their business. “Pizza, portraits and punctuality!”, he says. “What’s the fourth one?” asked Colin. “Pepperoni.” said Brad. Colin “drinks a coffee”. It was supposed to be really hot. Brad says “We need to put a sign on the cups that says Warning: Do Not Gulp.” Colin goes over to the slicer and starts slicing pepperoni. Mike makes a noise that sounds almost like soup. Colin says “I’m just cutting the soup.” Brad replies “I’m just the manger.” A confused Colin asks “Manger?” Brad answers “The “a” is missing.” Colin goes over to the computer and starts typing. Mike makes a splashing sound. Brad says “Dude! You should get a Dell!” He goes over to the oven and says “Stand off to the side or you’ll burn the crap outa yourself!” He opens the oven. Christie makes a blowing noise. Brad says to Colin “I think I just burned my eye out.” Colin replies “There’s a glass top.” Brad responds “I’m just the manger. Let’s deliver this pizza.” They get in the car. Brad turns the key. Silence. Christie doesn’t make a sound. The audience cracks up. Colin turns the key and Mike makes a motor turning sound. Brad says “Now that you turned it on, I can rev it!” Silence. Brad honks the horn. Christie makes a high-pitched “beep.” Colin honks the horn. Mike makes a really loud horn honking sound. They get to the house and Colin has this brilliant idea. They should set off a flare to let them know they are there. The flare shoots off and the neighbor’s house goes on fire. Brad gets the bullhorn out. Christie says “Help! Get out! Pizza is on fire!” Colin says “You have it set on gay.” Mike (as Colin shouting into the bullhorn) says “I’m so much more manly than Brad.” Brad replies “Who’s Brad?” Mike answers “ You are!” He lets the people know there pizza is there by saying “Come on out! Get your pizza!” Colin asks Brad “Do you still have the pizza catapult?” Brad replies “Yes.” Christie says “We’re gonna throw some pizza at your house!” Colin says to Brad “You’re beginning to make Richard Simmons look tough!” They put the fire out and celebrate. Colin asks “Do you have any beer?” Brad replies “Yeah, it’s in the trunk next to the pizza catapult. I’ve got a lot of shit in my trunk!” That game ends and loud rock music plays. Brad got his ears blown out by the music. Next came Crime Scene Confession.

Crime Scene Confession: This was a really fun game! Colin got sent into the hallway. Brad got three items of clothing, two crimes Colin was accused of, a place that sounds like an Indian tribe name, and two items left at the crime scene. The three clothing items all happened to be pants. They were: black bell-bottoms, Spiderman gym shorts and gauchos. Colin was accused of sending evil tomatoes to attack the city, and stuffing a skunk into a mailbox. These crimes took place in Shinnecock. He left a penguin and a sausage behind. Brad made fun of the person who said sausage’s accent. Brad made jokes about Colin because he couldn’t guess one part of the crime. So, when Brad turned around to walk away, Colin gave him the finger. We all got a kick out of that one. Colin had a hard time getting Shinnecock right. He said things like “Cockfemur, Cockshin and Cockashin.” He was making up excuses such as saying he was dyslexic. Now it was that time of mixed emotions. Colin and Brad did the last game. They made up a song.
Song: Colin and Brad made up a song reflecting on the whole evening. This song was sung to the tune of “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. One line sticks out in my mind the most. Colin sang about Crime Scene Confession. He sang “Crime Scene took a long time because your clues really sucked!” This last game was very very good! I really enjoyed it because they looked back on the evening and reminisced on some very funny quotes said over the course of the night. Then, the song ended and Colin and Brad took their final bows. As always, they received a standing ovation! The show was wonderful and I hope they come back to Long Island again sometime in the near future!!
After the show: About 15 people were waiting around after the show my mom and myself included. We were right near the back stage door. Colin and Brad came out about 10 minutes later. There were about 4 people next to us who Colin and Brad stopped for first, then we were next. I asked them for an autograph, hug and photo op. They were so sweet and gave my mom and I HUGE hugs! I got a great picture with them. I gave them my homemade cards and Long Island postcards. The guys were extremely friendly and so down-to-earth! I was so glad I went to the show and was lucky enough to meet them and spend 2 and a half hours watching them perform. That show was definitely the best two and a half hours of my life!!!

Written by mude_pul and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

I want to warn everyone ahead of time, that this is long, and it does contain some nasty things and coarse language. But I hope you enjoy it none the less. I sure had an amazing time that night.

I arrived at the beautiful Denver Preforming Arts Complex, really early, and tried my hardest not to freeze outside. It was really cold. Once we were finally let inside and to our seats, I found out that the show had been sold out, so I was very happy for that. And that I had gotten my tickets early.... thanks CMWeb!

The stage was set with two black stools with an empty mic stand on either side. A stage hand would come later to put the microphones in. Towels hung from each stool, the sentence basket, sat on top of one stool, and the phone book lay on the ground.

The show started a little late but once Brad and Colin were introduced they both ran on stage to very loud cheering and yelling. Colin was wearing the usual black and black with black and white converse. Brad was wearing a black shirt with different sized modern looking white rectangles on them, jeans, and what looked like, the black on black converse.

They first made jokes about the Denver weather because there was a little blizzard early that morning. Colin then asked the audience how many people thought that they had advance notice about the things on Whose Line. To my surprise there was a lot of cheering and then he called those people bastards. They went on to explain the show and warmed the audience up by asking us to tell our our astrological sign and our favorite dessert topping. Brad then joked that this was a good show to take people with terrets to . We no longer had to leave them in the car with a sock in their mouth.

As they went on to explain the first game, several people walked in late. Brad teased them asking them if they had set their watch for Daylight Savings Time, and just basically giving them a hard time, all in fun of course.

Moving Bodies: Moving bodies was the first game played. Jane was moving Brad and Joel was moving Colin. However only one person would move both Brad and Colin at a time. Colin then asked for a European country and Croatia was chosen. He then asked us for an unusual mode of transportation, and skateboard was the chosen suggestion. The scene was that Colin and Brad were entering a skateboarding rally in Croatia. Most of the game was spent moving Brad and Colin back and forth across the stage.

At one point Brad's arm was on Colin's and he told Colin, 'I wish I could quite you'. On the way to the rally, while moving both Colin and Brad, Jane hit a bump in the road and Brad said that Jane, while moving over the bump nearly dislocated his shoulder. They ended up missing the skateboarding rally, but the game ended in a when Brad and Colin shared a big hug.

New Choice: New Choice was next and I was worried about this game thinking that the kids would be honking their horns non stop, but surprisingly, the three kids were really good. Even Brad and Colin said so. Once the three kids were on stage Brad apologized that they couldn't bring all the kids on stage but this wasn't Chuck E. Cheese. A woman in the audience was given the North Denver phone book to flip through. This causing some booing in the audience because the phone book was from North Denver.

A window repair place was chosen and Colin and Brad ended up working in a repair shop, fixing car windows. I don't remember much from this game but Colin said that while he was working Brad was doing the crossword with his Crayola crayon set. I just thought that was kind of cute. Colin got hit with a 'new choice once when saying something was 'just great' NC, ' that's crap!". There was a mention of Brad cooking sausage weasels. Brad also tested Colin's knowledge of birds by prompting the kids to honk their horns each time Colin would name the three birds that were on the back of the car's bumped sticker.

Overall, I was so pleased with this game probably because the kids weren't all over their horns. After the game was over, Brad said that obviously none of the kids were on Ritalin, just because they were so calm. It was nice to see.

Double Dub: They played double dub next and Eric and Julie were chosen from the audience. The scene was done in the style of a western movie. The main idea for this scene was that there was a new sheriff in town(Eric) who was going to be married to the school teacher Ms. Kitty(Julie). There was going to be a big dance to celebrate. And as Brad said it was going to be a nipple twist o- rama.

The audience members were really good sports and Eric even twisted Colin's nipples at one point. There was a time during the game that Brad, who had pulled his muscle dancing, was on the floor while Colin massaged his upper thigh.

Some of my favorite parts of this scene was when Colin was dubbing for Brad and said 'thank you ms. Kitty. I just wished I liked woman.' There was also a mention of the game if you know what I mean, when someone said, ' you can clean my gun wrack if you know what I mean'. Also, Colin told us that he wouldn't be dancing because he dances on the inside, not with his feet. Not one of my favorite games of the night, but it was a lot of fun seeing Colin and Brad mess with each other, and seeing them both mess with the audience members.

Crime Scene: Crime scene(YAY!) was the next game played. Brad left grabbing an audience member with him on the way out. As Brad was leaving the theater, Colin took the time to tell us about the web site since their merchandise was not for sale at the show. First Colin got from us the clothing that Brad was wearing: parachute pants, Crocs(which are shoes) that make him sing like Elton John and a yamaca. The funny thing about Crocs was that I had no idea what they were, either did Colin really. But as I walked around Denver over the weekend, I saw them everywhere! And every time I saw them I couldn't help but laugh.

Crime: Brad held up a stage coach with a turkey baster, while tagging a bull. Brad commited this crime in the city of Wheewhitchka with an eskimo pie and un umbrella. Colin got Brad to guess his clothes first. At one point when Colin was getting Brad to guess what he was wearing on his head, he first guessed that he was wearing a stack of pancakes on his head. To get Brad to eventually guess that he was wearing Croc shoes, he used the clue' see you later alligator'. Once Brad got the Croc shoes he started to laugh and Croc shoes that ugly shoes that look like a Dutch roller disco. Once Brad got that the shoes make him sing like Elton John, he would sing an Elton John song every change he could. To get Brad to guess a yamaca, Colin told Brad to stop being such a little prick, because he would cut Brad down to size. However after this, Brad guessed that he was wearing a foreskin hat.

Still singing Elton John, next was the crime that he had committed. One of the silly things he guessed at first was that he stole a blimp with a corn muffin. Colin seemed really flustered with having to get Brad guess the city. One time, he had Brad cover his ears, and he went back to the audience member who had suggested it to make sure that he had it right. To try and get the 'wha' in the city name, Colin asked Brad to do his John Wayne impression. Although Brad knew that it wasn't a good impression, he was having a whole lot of fun doing it.

To try and get Eskimo Pie, Brad at first gave a silly guess of a broiled Montana. Colin then said that he was wearing a komono with his name 'Steve" on the outside; Steve Komono. Only taking the first letter of his name, S Komono. Brad eventually got it, although I didn't even get that one at first. Getting umbrella was easy for Brad.

I really like this game, it's always so much fun. It's great to see the clues that Colin comes up with. Brad was being really goofy on the stool, laughing a lot, and singning as many Elton John songs as he could. Some of the clues seemed to make him confused as well. Brad was adorable during this game and a lot of time he would end up giggling a whole lot. You could see that both Brad and Colin were having lots of good laughs and a lot of fun!

INTERMISSION!

Sentences: The next game played was sentences. Once again the y used the phone book and the audience member stopped on floor materials. Colin then made a comment that they seemed to have a home improvement theme going on, and it really was true. The scene was that Brad was coming to get some new flooring for his house so he and his wife would have new softer floor to do kinky things on. Some of the sentences used were:
"I wish I could quit you."
"Kiss me now you fool."
"Hey baby, let's go to bed."
"Everything tastes better with A1 sauce and a big Rocky Mountain oyster."
"What light through yonder window breaks."
"I have explosive diarreah."
"Are you going to eat that?"
"The longest day of my life."
"Please don't spank me."
"What is that noodle doing in my hair?"
"Oh my god. There's blood everywhere."
(This one caused Brad to giggle)
"Your mother was a hampster."
"It's just a flesh wound."
"Your mom goes to collge."
(very original indeed)
"I'm out of toilet paper."
"I'm sorry I have no clean underwear today."
"That's why I'm on the couch."
"Oofta, what's that smell?"
"It's your turn to change the baby."
"I took a bath with my pet snake Monty today."
"Toddler time at the tumble gym."

As it turned out, Brad really had marital problems and he really came to Colin's floor store because he wanted someone to talk to. This game was a whole lot of fun to watch, and as you can tell, it got a little dirty after a while.

* This next game was something that I had never heard of being played before. So much that it really didn't have a name. Brad and Colin chose a scene in the style of a horror movie. Colin's car had broken down on a dark and stormy night, in front of evil taxidermist Brad's house. However the intresting part of this game was that although they would start things off normally, they would eventually incorporate different games frm Whose Line every once in a while. These games included: questions only, one sylablle word, if you know what I mean, letter substitute(the letter L for the letter S) and the Dr. Seuss game.

For this game they brought Dave up on stage so he could read the list of games to play when either Brad or Colin yelled out the word freeze. Before the game started, Brad and Colin gave dave a test to make sure that they could hear him, and that he knew what he was doing. This test was just Dave saying the word one. The game started out just fine, until when the word freeze was called out. They turned to Dave for the next style that they would play in. Instead of saying the next game, Dave said one instead. This had Brad on the floor laughing and Colin was now doubled over laughing. For a few minutes at least. It was really funny.

Some of the if you know what I mean suggestions included:
"A good size head IYKWIM."
"Are you sure you don't want to give it a squeeze IYKWIM."
"A lot of juice IFKWIM."
"A stiff head IYKWIM."
"This stuff will make your mouth pucker IYKWIM."

One of the letter substitutions included:
(substituting L for S)
"Oh I lit myself"

One of the Dr. Seuss quotes that I remember was:
"I don't want your lips on me, because you are so uuuugly."

I really liked this game. I think that if they ever play it again, it has a lot of potential to be something funny. Although I was kind of looking forward to seeing Colin and his awesome Canadian rap skills.

Sound FX: Sound effects was the next game and Vikki was pulled from the audience to do sounds fo Brad and Pat was taken from the audience to do sound for Colin. The phone book was used again and the person stopped on insurance/ restaurants. Odd combination. According to the guys, 'nothing says sound effects like insurance and salad restaurants.'

Colin and Brad owned an insurance and salad making business. They were called to make a delivery of salad. Colin recieved a butt fax at some point, which reminded me of a Whose Line game. Brad was making a smoothie to bring with them on the delivery and Vikki made a blender sound that Brad said sounded like he had left the daushound in the blender. Once they were in the car, Pat made a sound for Colin that they said there was a warthog in the back of the car. At one point during the car ride, the warthog pooped in the car.

Once Brad and Colin arrived at the delivery place with the food, Brad got on the bull horn and shouted at what it turned out to be gypsies that their foor was here, The woman who was making sounds for Brad could only say one thing on the bullhorn however."Hey you gypsy people!" Brad then decided that he needed to switch the switch from Richard Simmons. Colin kept telling Brad to stop saying that, but the woman doing the sounds wouldn't say anything else. Brad and Colin were both dying of laughter at this poin and the game was finally ended.

Once both the sound effects people were seated and everyone was somewhat calmed down, Brad informed us that no matter what, whenever we hear the word gypsy, all we're going to think of is 'hey you gypsy people.' I can tell you three days later, that quote still makes me laugh. Easily, this was one of the best games all night.

Mouse Trap: The last game was mouse trap. After getting all the trapps set up, I think they ended up with about 93 traps, it was decided that they would start with the letter Z and go backwards and that they would be painting the walls. As Brad and Colin were taking their shoes and socks off someone in the audience whistled. Both Brad and Colin laughed and Brad said in responce, 'Oh yes. Nothing is sexier then albino feet on two men older then 40 years old.' The game was pretty uneventful until Colin grabbed a mousetrap and stuck in on the bacl of Brad's necl, causing Brad to call him an asshole a number of times during the game. From then on, it was on, and they were both pretty evil to each other.

Once they got to the letter A, the game was over and the show was too. The audience gave Colin and Brad a well deserved standing ovation and sadly the show was over.

This was the second time that I had seen Brad and Colin's show and it's hard to say which show I enjoyed more. They were both amazing. Both Colin and Brad seemed to be having fun and really enjoying themselves on stage. Maybe that's why I enjoyed the show so much but I don't think I have ever laughed so hard especially to the point of tears. Thank you Colin and Brad for an incredible night of comedy!

Written by Celina V. and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Ah the insanity began at exactly 8:00 pm, Eastern Time. Now the excitement as the House Lights Dimmed was only the beginning. Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood ran out to what seemed a rock concert. The two did their bowing routine as the song Alive by Godsmack roared in the background. Brad was the first to speak, “It’s nice to be here in Akron! & it’s warm for March in Ohio; it’s usually not this warm... I still don’t believe in that global warming,” & he trailed off. Colin stepped in after some dead silence, “Oh this is going to be a fun night.” He paused & looked back to Brad: “This is what we do… sound stupid.” Colin then asked (after some laughter) if everybody thought Whose Line was totally planned & as usual a loud applause reached our ears, next came the all too familiar line from our man Colin, “Alright you people are bastards.” Brad then said Colin was going to pass out Index Cards & pencils, “Write down anything but nothing about Drew Carey we’ve gotten all of those before.” Around this time Colin had literally thrown pencils at this lady, & Brad says; “Whoa Colin, don’t kill her.” “I’m sorry, you mentioned Drew Carey & I got nervous.” After the pencil throwing, they explained the purpose of the all-mighty-yellow pages, Colin said, “I’ve got the Akron-Midena yellow pages….” EJ Thomas Hall was completely silent. Everyone was dead silent. A cricket could’ve broken the silence. We had no clue what he was talking about. Brad then says: “Midena? You mean Medina,” & he goes off saying some stuff that rhymes with it & finally ended up saying in a really low voice; “Vagina….” Colin looked at him disappointed, he goes back to the yellow pages & he tells someone ‘to stick there finger in there’ he kind of regretted what he said after that. Well once the scene was picked for the first game Brad asked if they could dim the house lights, they didn’t & said, “Okay… I don’t think that’s possible, but that’s okay.” They finally did dim down & the games began.

First up was Moving People, (a great game to play with mannequins, if you go to Kohl’s or even JC Penny’s) Caroline & Ryan were chose. When Ryan told Colin his name, Colin seemed shocked & said: “Oh, nice name.” Caroline moved Brad & Ryan moved Colin (call it irony eh?). The scene was sent in Hungary, & from the Akron-Midena Yellow Pages a fixing gas pipes company was chosen (What a good job for this game.) A lot of twisting & turning occurred to Colin because Ryan seemed to be having a hard time getting Colin in the position he wanted him to go. Colin told Brad to get on the moped, but it ends up he was already on it. So Brad ends up real close behind Colin, & Colin just sits there with this odd look on his face, Brad’s hands are rested on his hips, Brad say; “Okay, I am on, lets go.” So they start to go, but they are still standing still, Colin then says; “Isn’t it funny how I can defy the laws of physics by standing in one place but actually getting somewhere?” He then yells: “LEFT TURN!” & Ryan moves his arms, he then yells: “BUMP!” Brad jumps but Colin does not move. Brad, “Oh, I think we hit a goose.” “Boy these shocks are SO much better than the ones in the back.” The time game where they were to get off, Brad starts falling off even before they stop but is unharmed. Colin gets off but his hands are still in the position of grasping the handles, “I’m just going to take the handle bars with me,” he says. They go to the pipe, both bend at the waist & just stay there & about 40 seconds later Colin says, “Well that’s fixed.” Somehow or another the scene ended up with Colin wanted some perogies, so they had to go all the way to the left end of the stage to the perogie stand. Colin’s not even moving when Brad’s there & finally a minute later Colin ends up behind Brad. Brad says; “Oh no, this perogie stand is closed, we have to go all the way to that one of there,” & he points towards the other end of the stage. Brad again breezes right past Colin & Colin is still twisting & turning, but this time he almost ends up going face first into the ground, but fortunately catches himself. & by the time Colin actually got back to Brad the game was over.

Next up, was Dr. Seuss, as some say it is impossible to take notes on, I wasn’t taking notes, but still trying to recall what is said during this game is impossible, some parts I can remember, they may be off, but bare with me. The items chosen were a Spatula & a Lava Lamp. Colin & Brad were shaking their heads when they heard these suggestions & when they did explain the game, & everyone finally caught on Brad said, “You now understand why we were shaking our heads,” (now let’s see them get through this with ease). It was set in a Dentist Office, with the regularly seen items a spatula & a lava lamp. Colin was the Dentist, Brad was the patient. In this game there were a load of poo references from Brad, & Colin seemed to be having a really hard time, especially with his item a spatula, here’s some quotes I can recall;

“I don’t want to be in pain, can you give me some Novocain?”- Brad
“You seem to be messed up you see, hahaha hehehe.”- Colin
“Whoa, look at the pretty colors… I’m stoned.”- Colin
“I stick this in your hole, so it would heat your poo… that would be really cruel.”- Brad

There’s so much laughing going on, so much commotion it’s hard to remember every single detail.

Double Dub was next at bat. A man & a woman were brought on stage (sorry I can’t remember their names… go along with me will ya?)Brad dubbed for Colin & the lady, & Colin dubbed for Brad & the guy. They asked for a made up fairy tale & yelled out was, The Red Eyed… & then it just mumbled off, Colin asked again what was said, & two other people yelled out, THE RED EYED TREE FROG MAN! Brad says, “Well, they seem to know what they’re talking about, okay, the red eyed tree frog man.” Colin started off talking to both who were brought up on stage as Brad was standing along the curtains for a bit doing Colin’s voice. It ended up that the Red Eye Tree Frog Man could grant your wish if you tweaked his nipples. Brad ended up being the Red Eyed Tree Frog man. Colin then did Brad’s voice & said, “TWEAK MY NIPPLES!” So the guy goes over there & actually does it! Brad’s mouth is hanging open as he’s being tweaked & the guy stops Colin then says for Brad, “TWEAK THEM AGAIN!” & he does it again, about 4 more times, & everyone is amazed that he’s actually doing it. Then came the time for Brad to get his sweet, sweet revenge on Colin; he said, “I want you two, to stand behind me, while I’m lying on the ground & tweak my nipples!” Colin’s still standing & Brad says, “I’LL SHOOT MYSELF!” & Colin makes his hand into a gun & shoots himself ending up on the ground. Brad then does the voice for the lady, screams & says, “I need to give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.” She looks utterly terrified, she’s close to his mouth, Colin’s grinning, & Brad says, “Oh look! I’m alive!” & Colin gets up, but Brad’s not done, “I want you,” Colin points to the lady, “to tweak my nipples.” He sticks out his chest & she walks towards him & tweaks his nipples, after mouthing ow, ow, ow. Brad STILL isn’t done, he says, “YOU,” & Colin points towards the guy, “I want you to tweak my nipples too!” & he walks over there & does it, “Oh that’s not hard enough!” Brad yells & he keeps doing it, Colin is trying to escape but he can’t finally, after all this nipple tweaking the game ended. Colin says, “Give me a minute.” & he starts rubbing his chest, Brad is walking around doing the same thing looking at the floor, & he says, “I think I’m lactating.”

Then came one of the craziest games Crime Scene, this was the first time I ever did see it, & I loved it. Colin told Brad to get out, but bring someone with him to clarify that he’s not hearing anything, & he grabs a young girl, Colin says, “Yeah, take the young girl.” During this time we had to think outside the realm of normal. I think we got WAY out of the realm of normal. Brad would have to confess to: While wearing a chastity belt, laced monocles, & dead fingers, Brad stole a Possum Van, & drank whiskey out of an enema. Brad traveled to Wapakoneta, & then to Al’s Nose Hair Supply & Oompa Lumpa Factory (originally said Lumpa Lumpa Factory from Col) while driving a canoe. Ah so simple, no? Before the whiskey enema one was chosen someone had yelled out in the dead silence CRAPPING ON A DOG! Colin had to think a little bit about this & then said no & went with the enema one. After everything was said, he told us there was something wrong with us. & he said, “Now don’t help Brad out, mostly because I like to screw with him.” Finally Brad was called back in; he had with him a water & set it down. Colin was ready to have a field day with him, & a field day he had. First came chastity belt, clues given nuts & key. Took him sometime to figure this out but he finally got it. Next came laced monocles, bifocals was one of the clues for monocle but for lace was other than silk, or something along those lines, he finally got laced & had this look of confusion. Ah, next Dead Fingers, how simple this would be. Colin gave out the clue point & Brad had guessed Giant Foam Finger, Colin said, “& what’s on the end of those?” “…fingers… while wearing a chastity belt, laced monocles & fingers….” “There’s more….” He then tries to give off hints of being dead, still, lying down, & cold. Brad says, “Dead…. Fingers?” Everyone applauds, & Colin points to the kid who said that & Brad looks at Colin & says, “What is wrong with today’s youth?... while wearing a chastity belt, laced monocles & dead fingers….” Colin stops him & says, “It’s going to get a lot weirder too.” Brad got Possum Van quicker than anything else but next came drinking whiskey out of an enema. Colin asked Brad if he was thirsty, & that gave off the clue for Whiskey along with some other little hints, well, I completely forget what Colin gave off as other clues for this because I was laughing so hard, Colin yelled, “Just say what you’re thinking!” Brad yelled back, “I CAN’T! I don’t want too!” & he starts laughing at himself, & he finally says, “Whiskey…. Enema…..” Colin says, “What’s the opposite of in of.” “Out of?” “Yeah….” “Drinking?” & everyone applauded, poor Brad, he did NOT want to admit that he drank whiskey out of an enema but eventually he did, about 15 minutes later. Next came the place he was at, he just started saying in a really low voice, “Parma… Akron… Medina… Cuyahoga… Berea… Cleveland… North Ridgeville… Canton….” & Colin stopped him there. Brad got net right away, but I cannot remember the other clues Colin gave Brad for the place. Al’s Nose Hair & Supply was easy for him, & then came Oompa Lumpa Factory. Colin started out by saying, “Do you want some candy?” & Brad says, “Yes.” “You want some Gobstoppers?” “They’re everlasting… they last for eternity…” Brad says this in one of the lowest voices that sound pretty darn cute. He pulls the Gobstopper out of him mouth & says, “They give me cavities though.” Colin got to a clue about Willy Wonka & who made the Gobstoppers & Brad finally got Oompa Lumpa Factory. Canoe was really simple for Brad. When he had to repeat his crime he completely forgot about Dead Fingers but he got it, after about 30 minutes of interrogation.

Then came intermission were I sat the whole time, drawing on the back of my book I got. So many people piled out of there almost everyone in our whole row was gone! & then they all had to file back in & you had to watch out for everyone coming. The intermission only lasted 15 minutes but it was fun… I realized there were a lot of bald men there… hm, maybe they have their own fan club? Moving on….

After Intermission came Sentences Colin & Brad hoped today was the day this game would ACTUALLY work, but I don’t think it did in all honesty. So as usual it was set to the style of Shakespeare… it was set in a Salt Dome, they both agreed that was the weirdest suggestion they’ve EVER heard in (Colin’s) 40 something years of Improv. So Colin was officially named Fartagus, & Brad was Testicalles (or something along those lines). Colin was to take over the kingdom from his father Gastagus. As I mentioned a lot of poo references this was ONLY the tip of the ice berg, from what Brad named Colin & Colin’s father, it took off from there, & I gotta admit it was hilarious. Colin ended up saying that his father was lying on his death bed & he was trying to tell him his last words & Colin pulled out almost every card in the basket looking for a good dying sentences, here’s a few of what Colin read:

-Why is it so slimy? (Referring to the salamander)
-Its my favorite animal (Again with the salamander)
-How’s your rash?
-How was your colonoscopy?
-Are you hungry?

Yet he couldn’t seem to find a good one that however was towards the end of the scene. Here are some quotes from the beginning:

There’s a mirror in your pants, I see myself in them. – Colin (This was the funniest line of the evening leading towards many interesting comments)

‘The fairy of snacks.’ Brad just stands there for a bit laughing at himself, Colin is standing behind him waiting for what he knew might happen, Brad then looks at his card & says: “I have nothing to say. - Brad
There was one line that Brad pulled out that mentioned a Llama & the WHOLE thing rhymed.
Well it’s that mirror in your pants! I see my reflection!- Colin

Of ‘course that’s not all that happened there was one card that Colin pulled out that mentioned something about love-making & he went on about his wife & the royal bedroom, but we won’t go there.

Sound Effects was up next. Brought up was; Greg & another woman (sorry I can’t remember her name). Now the scene was set in a Florist Shop such a great place for sound effects! (As mentioned by Colin) Well, to pass the Sound Effects test the woman was tested to do a door opening & she does it, but not the famous Ryan squeak. Then the bar was set for Greg & he does the Trademark Ryan Stiles Squeak as our good friend Brad mentions. Well somehow or another Brad mentions they are going to go to the parade to watch all the flower floats. Before they even go to the parade, we can’t hear Colin; turns out his battery pack has died (how ironic this happens even after the WL ep with the famous “my battery pack” line). Well Colin is yelling hoping everyone can hear him & he yells, “I’LL BE BACK!” He goes to walk off the stage, when Brad says, “You didn’t check the battery of pack did you?” Colin turns back to him, grinning, & yells; “I’M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER!” He’s almost out of sight when he yells again; “I’VE GOT THE WATER RUNNING!” Finally he disappears & no sound is made by Greg. Brad then says, “You’re in one of those soundproof showers!” For the 2 minutes or so Colin is gone, Brad decides he’s going to make Strawberry Daiquiris! The poor lady doing Brad’s sound effects was trying her best. So Brad’s up there alone, & he cues the Strawberries dropping in, well the noise that was made sounded like a bark & Brad says, “There’s a dachshund in here!” Everybody cracks up & around this time Colin comes back, stops on the stage & says, “I’m done with my shower!” They finally make it to the parade, but some of the floats have caught on fire! But a spooky short wind sound is made. Brad then has a megaphone & starts yelling, “GET OUT…. NOW!” but the ladies voice was so girlish it just sounded hilarious with Brad yelling it. Colin then goes & grabs it from him & says, “You have it set to gay.” Colin cues Greg to do the voice & he says, “Get out… now.” Brad looks at him & says, “What are you Arnold Schwarzenegger?” Well sooner or later Brad goes back for the megaphone running around like a big girl & Colin stops him, & with Brad running back to the stools like a big girl the scene ends.

So next up was; New Choice, with 3 youngsters: Cory, Sharon, & Mike. Cory happened to be the kid who yelled out Dead Fingers, he had to do Rock, Paper, Scissors (Suggested by Brad) against his best friend (or brother) to see who would go up, he won of ‘course. When they were all on stage, after Colin handed them their noise-makers-of-mass-destruction, Cory asks; “What do these do?” Brad says, “Those are horns, old toys we had on our bikes, you squeeze them,” he squeezes the horn scaring Cory half-to-death, “& they make that noise.” Brad walks over to Colin saying, “What an amazing device! It uses air to make noise, now that kid can launch a missile from his laptop.” Well the game began, I can’t tell you what the scene was or where it was located but I can tell you there was so much laughter over the continuous honking! The kids would not lay off, once Brad spoke the FIRST line of the evening the honking began. Since Brad spoke he dug himself a huge hole, he was getting honked, & honked, & honked after every sentence even in the middle of some. After about 7 minutes of honking for Brad, Colin yells, “SHUT UP!” Brad then looks at him in relief but now the kids have Colin in their grasp. Man, they just wouldn’t stop, meaning Cory. Brad said something along the lines of: “How to kill kids who don’t know when to stop honking.” NC “How to get kids to take a hint.” NC “How to keep kids from honking.” Finally Colin interrupted & said, “Hey.” NC “What’s up?” NC “How are you?” NC “I’m fine.” NC “No.” NC “Yes.” NC With this honk Colin slowly strolled over to the kids, but more towards Cory he did this a few other times & walked back towards Brad, well this time he kept walking grabbed for Cory’s horn & ripped off the squeaker part. Everyone clapped & cheered. Close to that the game ended & the kids walked down the steps, Brad followed mumbling something about the kids, kicking the air behind those kids. He walked back towards Colin & says, “When will we learn?” He turns around, “Oh… they’re listening.”

But the hilarity still ensues as the Mousetraps/Alphabet was about to begin. This was no ordinary night though, because of two things. They were using 114 mousetraps (I actually counted 114), there must’ve had a sale or something like Brad said, & that they were not going to use the safety rope. That’s right, going against the rules those daredevils. Ah yes, we can’t forget their good friend Cory. He yells to Brad, “I wanna see!” & Brad throws the loaded trap at him, it does hit him, but he throws it back at Brad, Brad acts like his loading it & then throws it back, Cory ducks but it doesn’t go off, Brad tells him to keep it as a souvenir & if he puts it on his tongue it feels good. Right before they were going to start a lone trap goes off for no reason, & Brad says; “They’re eager.” I’m pretty sure they were fixing a toilet or something but I couldn’t begin to remember what they were doing. They started with the letter M though, & worked their way through the alphabet through pain & torment. The traps did not start flying early but the pain sure did. Colin got a few stuck to his foot, & when Brad started throwing the traps he nailed Colin’s foot. When Brad went to pick up some he kept getting snapped, this happened around 4 times. But one moment that sticks out in my mind was when Colin throws one mousetrap at Brad, it goes over his shoulder but then, he throws the other one & it comes near his ‘cucumber’ Brad sighs & says, “Extremely close, jack ass.” Colin was very athletic in this game, Brad was maybe 2 feet from him & Colin was moving back & forth hoping to dodge some & dodge them he did! It was as if he were in the Matrix… okay, maybe we won’t go that far but still. The game ended with of course Brad taking off his goggles, & at least nailing Colin 4 times before Colin yelled, “BRAD GET YOUR GOGGLES BACK ON!” That ended the game. That ended the show.

We gave them a STANDING ovation. Only a couple of people started to stand. Like maybe, 6 to 7 people. & I finally stood up. Finally, after 2 more minutes of clapping everyone was standing, clapping, whistling, hollering, & laughing to the guys they had just seen perform live in Akron for 2 hours. Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood were the heroes of the evening, saving us from our insanity.

Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

The guys were introduced with the usual flourish and fanfare. They ran out onto the stage and Brad yelled, "Hello, Lowell!" Someone in the crowd yelled, "New Hampshire!" Colin added that he's from Canada (much cheering for that), and Brad changed his greeting to "Hello, America!" There, that covered it. This was a very rambunctious crowd, that vibe just ran through the hall. (And so, might I add, did the alcohol.) The Lowell Memorial Auditorium isn't a theater. It's a hall with chairs set up to face the stage. Brad said he felt like he should be dressed up as some historical figure giving a speech.

The show started with Moving Bodies.DeeDee was paired up with Brad, but immediately scooted over to Colin's side instead. Brad then made a sad face til he grabbed Mike and hugged him instead. The scene involved going to a liquor store in Czechoslovakia.
These two movers were the best I've seen in a long time. Colin indicated they should take a motorcycle to the liquor store, so DeeDee brought him over to it, got him on it, then stood behind him to keep moving him. Mike did the same with Brad. Usually the movers stand off to the side and just yank on the guys when prompted to do a turn or something. This couple stayed right with Colin and Brad. It was funny when they went over bumps, because you'd see all four heads bob up and down in this little lined-up parade.
Occasionally the movements were...odd, but the guys explained it away by saying they were drunk even before getting to the store. When they finally made it, Colin stepped through the window, while Brad just stood with his legs crossed, saying he had to pee. (People still seem to have a problem getting the guys to turn around easily. Their legs tend to stay still and only their upper bodies move.) After taking some liquor, Colin said he had to pay, and the money was in his pocket. Brad started to reach over, and Colin corrected him saying it was in his front pocket. (heehee) They stored the liquor in Brad's pants, then all four of them got back on the motorcycle to go home. When they arrived Brad told Colin to get the stuff out of his pants. DeeDee kept moving Colin's head, so Mike kept moving Brad's, leading the two to have an argument. Colin's head shook NOOOOO, Brad's shook Yeeeeessss, Colin kept going NOOOO. Very exaggerated movements, very funny to see. Eventually, Brad told Colin to grab his 40-ounce. DeeDee started laughing too hard to move Colin anymore, so the game ended there.

New Choice took place in a Garbage Dump, a nice place for a soap opera setting. Colin was there because he was to inspect the dump (NC) he wanted a sofa (NC) he lost his wallet (NC) he likes dumps and wanted to design one (NC) make a replica and call it Dumpalooza (NC) Dump City 2006. Brad said that he was in the presence of greatness (NC) he was standing next to a moron in piles of crap (NC) pooooooo. Colin disagreed, saying he'd spotted the #1 issue of Superman (NC) an artificial leg (NC) Cheney's rifle collection. (That brought a LOT of laughs.) The kids were relentless on the horns, and Brad was relentless on Colin, having him name off his 4 favorite birds, over and over and over again. Brad then asked Colin what he should add to the dump. After many more honks, Colin very firmly suggested cages to put children with horns in them. Heheheh.

Karen and Jared were called up to participate in Double-Dub, "officially the stupidest game we play all night," according to Colin. The make-believe fairy tale "The Three Ferrets" was the setting. This game got very confusing very quickly, but somehow, the ferrets were magical, at least their poo was, and Karen had majored in mystical poo in college. There was much messing of the minds between Brad and Colin and they kept having each other fall in love with Jared. They blamed the ferrets, who, they figured, kept changing everyone's sex. Brad kept trying to hug Karen, but Colin kept ending up hugging Jared instead. They then deduced that the ferrets didn't have mystical powers. They had testicle powers. Riiiiight...

Brad and Colin dueled with an aardvark and a camera during Dr. Seuss. They gave each other grief for accepting those particular suggestions, especially since Brad got stuck with the aardvark. Colin seemed to had the tougher time rhyming, though. Some of his rhymes were admittedly lame, and when he stooped to trying to match "pen" with "gain," the audience actually booed. Not to worry, as we got to see a cameo performance by Colin's middle finger. Heh. Suddenly, he turned the tables, managing in quick succession to get rhymes for circumcized, anteater, and several other multi-syllable words. Brad had a moment of continuity that had me cheering. At one point, he was holding his aardvark (sounds odd, doesn't it?). He waved to Colin, then realized he'd "dropped" the aardvark, then picked it up and cuddled it. Very cute, but also very into the improv. Nice touch, Brad.

For Crime Scene Confession. Brad had Colin confess that, while wearing a Zoot suit, argyle socks, and galoshes, he rustled snails and built a pyramid out of asparagus in Mattapoisett at Bill's Guns, Gifts, and Kangaroo Farm, leaving behind a muffalatta and a hookah pipe. By this point in the show, alcohol made its presence known in the suggestions given by the audience. Brad called on one guy who started by thanking Brad for finally calling on him. He then said his friend wanted him to say "Jersey hooker." "But you probably don't want to use that, so this is a useless conversation." Yep, bud, it was.
When Colin came back into the theater, Brad told him it might be the oddest suggestions they've ever had. And that's saying something.

Brad's clothing hints, impression (?) of Cab Calloway and musical hints led to "Zoot suit." The rest of the clothing came very easily.
Brad made an icky reference to slime and got snails. Then he referenced the Seven Wonders of the World and Colin's guess was "Pamela Anderson!" (It was a very enthusiastic guess. LOL) Brad said no, but that it was large and pointy like that, and we had "pyramid." Then Brad went for a pointy vegetable and mentioned "envious," so Colin naturally went with...cucumber! LMAO Brad replied, "Oh yeah, that's a pointy vegetable," and Colin finally guessed asparagus, with the disclaimer that "You said envious!"
Brad said Mattapoisett sounded like you're sucking on a lemon as you're saying "Massachusetts." Colin guessed Boston. Brad told him to go with him on this, then gave this long drawn-out explanation/clue/diatribe, at the end of which Colin then guessed...Boston. Yes, Colin was a wiseass for this one. But he looks so damn adorable sitting on the stool swinging his legs around and giving that adorable face (man, can he milk that face or WHAT), that you just have to giggle. (My theory is the guy casting for those "Snack Fairy" commercials saw one of these shows, saw Colin sitting there swinging away, and it just all came together from there.) But I digress. Back to the clues. Brad got Colin to say Kangaroo-raising establishment. Brad gave all sorts of growing/cultivating/farming hints, but Colin kept saying "establishment." Brad said, "Oh yeah, that's exactly how they refer to it, too." (Methinks Colin was back on his wiseass kick again.)
Apparently, a muffalatta is a Cajun sandwich. One of them pronounced it wrong, prompting the hint of "Canadian" emphasis. And to end it, Brad gave lots of hookah/pipe references and, half an hour after it started, Colin repeated the confession word for word. Then we went to intermission.

The second half started with Sentences, with a scene about body-builders, done in the style of Shakespeare. Brad had made it a point earlier that they were hoping for actual sentences, instead of suggestions ala "Scenes from a Hat." He had good reason to emphasize this, as the previous evening's show resulted in very few complete sentences.
Brad started with, "Brad, why would you wear that shirt?" Yeah, it was a funky one, prompting Colin to respond, "Yeah, I was wondering where my curtains had gone."
Brad got "You had me at hello," and he then commented, "I do hope I don't spend the rest of the night quoting 7-year-old movies."
Colin pulled, "Is that supposed to be there?" Brad answered, "Yes, I know it seems too large to be true, but that's one well-developed muscle." Guess where he was gesturing during this... Colin told Brad he needed to concentrate. Brad said he didn't need to think, he needed to pose. And pose he did. Sorry, but much laughter ensued as Brad posed.
Colin demonstrated that it's all in the delivery when he pulled, "Your cow's out of the shed." Brad then pulled his zipper up. Many cow references followed, along with much zipper-pulling. Silly guys.
Apparently, someone campaigned to get everyone they were with to write down the same thing, because Colin and Brad each pulled, "Latin girl fighting with her white boyfriend." (Dontcha love when people listen to Brad's request for complete sentences?) The second time they pulled it, Brad said, "Look, they wrote it twice since the concept was so good the first time." After the game was over, Brad actually did an impression of a Latin girl fighting with her white boyfriend, and the look Colin gave him basically said, "You. Are. Nuts." I love when they make each other laugh during the show.

It took a few minutes for Brad to choose someone to Rap to, and he ended up with Jim. This game is best described by someone I overheard after the show. "Oh man, he's everyone's dad, and everyone was happy it wasn't their dad." Jim just kept talking. And talking. And talking. But not about himself, despite Brad's best attempts at questioning him. His daughter does improv in high school, his son teaches English/Irish in China, and on and on and on. The audience started suggesting other volunteers they could go with instead, but Brad said, "No. We picked him and by god we're staying with him to the bitter end." Finally Brad got that Jim works for Raytheon, and in his spare time, "fixes Mrs. Ballantine's porch." Brad milked this for all it was worth, while Colin was accompanied by Mike and David, "the White Man Dancers."

The trusty phone book gave us an asphalt company to set the scene for Sound Effects. Colin pronounced it Ash-falt, and, of course, Brad called him on it. "Did you say Ashfalt???" "Did you know in New Hampshire they pronounce it Asphalt?" They're so funny when they're goofing on each other.
We all learned something during this game. Even if you can't make a noise for any real object, like a saw, water coming out of a hose, or an alarm, you can always make a damn good fart noise. The funniest part was we learned this from audience member Margaret. Raymond, the other "volunteer," did well, but Margaret stole the scene at the end when Brad discovered that "it was all a matter of finding the right sound."

To the delight of the audience, the night ended with Mousetraps. During his introduction to/explanation of the game, Brad emphasized that the traps are real, and he offered one up for testing for any takers. One guy actually almost did stick his finger in one. Brad's summary of the thought process was "The caveman part of him started to stand up, but the evolved part sat back down. Ladies and gentlemen, evolution in action!"
Both men have developed an uncanny sense of blindfolded aim for this game. Brad got one stuck to Colin's shirt and, though he tried, Colin couldn't get it off. Brad's laughter at the end after he'd taken his goggles off and seen the trap was nothing compared to the laughter that had emanated from this auditorium for better than two and a half hours. Colin and Brad earned their standing ovation that night. But then, they always do.

Written by Dawn Milam and loaned to colinmochrie.com with permission.

Brad and Colin ran out amid much cheering, as usual. Brad thanked the audience and complimented Northampton. "It's a nice little city. We walked around all afternoon." Pause. "Okay, we walked around for five minutes." Colin asked him if he was done sucking up. Brad then said, "We're so happy to be in" then looked at his hand "Northampton." Very cute, very amusing.

First up this evening, Moving Bodies. Stuart, wearing a purple shirt, moved Colin, and Margie, wearing a furry purple sleeveless vest, was assigned to Brad. Colin had an audience member choose an entry from "either Yellow Page" of the Franklin County phonebook, and wound up with "fire and water damage restoration" in Poland.
Though Margie didn't even come up to Brad's shoulders, she put him through a lot of odd movements. Brad explained that his back hurt and he'd decided to adjust it on his own instead of going to the chiropractor. Then he took a big step and proclaimed that he'd killed that roach. Then Margie tilted his head toward the ceiling, so he said "Forgive me, lord, for killing the roach." Meantime, Colin was watching all the action, occasionally moving his arms, but not doing much else. Brad crouched down and pooped his pants. Colin suggested they go assess some fire and water damage. Brad said he was gonna assess the damage to his pants. Then he made some more interesting movements (he never once stood still), and said he had to warm up his hamstrings. Finally, Stuart moved Colin and Colin said "You don't want to know what I'm warming up."
They started walking across the stage, with Brad in the lead. He really annoyed Colin, because he'd take two steps, then turn his head back to see if Colin was still there. Exasperated, Colin yelled, "Yes, I'm still here, dammit. You don't have to keep checking up on me." The scene ended when Brad reached the end of the stage. (They should have taken intermission there. Brad probably could have used the rest. LOL)

Next Brad tried to pull three kids from the audience for New Choice. The first kid, however, refused to go up. Kept shaking her head. So Colin got a couple of other kids up, and finally the girl, figuring there's safety in numbers (which was what Colin was banking on), joined them on stage. To further reassure her, Colin then asked, "You're not afraid of snakes, are you?" Nice job, Colin. *G* Brad then announced that this was the Spanking Machine Game. Nice job there, too, Brad.
The scene was a jailhouse. Brad entered and greeted Colin. "Hi Warden!" (NC) Hi Miss Peach!" Colin told him not to call him that anymore. Brad was there to talk to the warden about several things, ending with his pants, which were made out of curtains. Colin's responses, "Oh, they match your shirt!" (NC)"Oh, no, my curtains!" were loudly applauded.
Colin somehow ended up with two apples and a compass, in case a teacher wanted to escape from prison.(NC)Then he had eggs and shoe polish. Brad decided he didn't want a shiny omelet. Colin then started talking about a mouse. Brad asked,"Oh, Algernon?" Colin replied, "Yes, I brought him flowers." Nice literary reference, much appreciated by the crowd.
Brad wanted to escape from the prison, so Colin said he'd dig a hole with a shovel (NC) with a spoon (NC) with this mole, which he picked up and petted. He would help Brad escape and go with him (NC) he'd stay here, which, he admitted, wasn't a well-thought-out plan. Since he was staying, Brad chose to give him his curtain pants. Colin very curiously asked why. Brad says that "When you pull the string, you can see the moon!" Grooooannnnn.

Kevin and Erin were called up to participate in Double Dub as part of the fairy tale, "Alice and the Golf Ball." Colin did the voices for Kevin and Brad, and Brad did the voices for Erin and Colin. The basic premise was Erin was a ringer in a golf tournament that Colin and Kevin set up against Brad. She hit the ball once and got it in all 18 holes in a row.
This game basically exists for Colin and Brad to make each other look silly. Or, sillier, depending on how you want to look at it. *G* They voiced each other as saying "I'll do this dance," or "I'm an idiot." Brad also voiced Erin as having the hots for Brad. Colin got Brad back, though, by having Brad express the desire to have his nipples tweaked, since he'd lost the tournament. Kevin, Erin, and Colin all then tweaked them. I think Brad's ticklish, judging by Colin's tweak. Heehee.
At the end, Colin, as voiced by Brad, said he felt bad that they'd cheated in the tournament so they would build a human pyramid for him. Colin and Kevin then got down on their hands and knees on this hard wooden stage, and Erin climbed onto them, first on her knees, then finally standing up. (Wish I'd taken a picture of that.) That's where the game ended, and I imagine the guys' knees were thankful for that.

During Crime Scene Confession, Colin played a cop while Brad, as a criminal, confessed that, While wearing Grandma's afghan, purple spats, and a gerbil-skin suit, he poached a squirrel and slept with (President) James Garfield in Housatonic at Harry's Hamstrings and Hernias, and left behind a cheese wheel as evidence.
Colin started by telling Brad this should be relatively easy. Brad started naming relatives, deducing finally that Grandpa had had a sex change. Afghan took forever, as Brad then guessed every item known to man that Grandma could own. Colin tried a dog hint. Brad went with dachsund. Colin referred to a country we're at war with. Brad named every European country we're not at war with. Desperate, Colin asked Brad who his favorite Vegas impersonator is, eliciting Danny Gans. Then he gave boat hints, and got Brad to say Aft. So Brad finally put it together...as ghansaft. By the time we applauded for "afghan," ten minutes had already gone by. Get comfy, folks, this is gonna be a long one.
Then Colin spat, and when Brad got that, Colin told him they came from the House of Barney, as had Stuart's and Margie's outfits, which lead us to purple. Next came Colin's (in)famous gerbil impression and soon enough we had our gerbil-skin suit, which Brad claimed he got from New Guinea pig.
For the crime, Colin mimed cooking and Brad went with hard-boiling a squirrel. (Tasty!) During the sleeping with Garfield, Brad first guessed that he'd made love to Dick Cheney. Colin said, "Really?" Brad answered, "Yeah, I just won't hunt with him 'cause they wouldn't find me for 20 hours. This brought the biggest applause yet.
Colin's "Go with me on this" moment came with the setting. He told of a guy who lives in Scotland and in his home he stores lots of stuff for when people bring over their gin. First Brad said Housetonic. Colin reminded him of Scotland, so Brad changed the pronunciation to Hoosetonic. We then add a little word and end up with Housatonic. Yay! It still amazes me when the "go with me" stuff works, 'cause I try to go and even knowing the answer, don't always follow. With much limping and lifting, we got Harry's Hamstrings and Hernias (my suggestion). At last, after making every cheese pun in the book, Colin successfully got Brad to confess to the entire crime, half an hour after they'd started. Then we had a very disorganized, chaotic intermission that lasted about 15 minutes.

They led off the second half of the evening with Sentences, a scene about bowling, done in the style of Shakespeare, with Colin as King Farticus and Brad as Testiclees. Colin was very worried about losing his kingdom, which he'd bet on the outcome of a bowling tournament in which he'd compete. Brad mourned the king's lack of bowling skills, despite his shiny balls.
Brad - Who did your hair? (And how did you make it stand up like that? Had to get in at least one hair joke this evening, apparently.)
Colin- Have you seen my hamster? (That was his bowling name, and he demonstrated his signature move. Brad feared it wouldn't be ferocious enough to scare the enemy.)
Brad - "Did you get your colonic today?" (Maybe that would help, it seemed to make him quite cheeky.)
Colin - "Where did we bury the dog?" (Brad, giggling, asked about Grandma's dachsund, then worried that Colin wasn't concentrating on the subject at hand.)
Brad - "Cheney's got a gun." (Much laughter and applause on general principles on this one.)
Colin, describing his wife - "She had three eyes." Apparently this disturbed her as they made love, for her common reaction was, "I hate the tile."
Brad - "All the yellow is gone." This turned out to be a very bad thing, this lack of yellow, and was blamed for many things that followed, including the fact that Brad kept coming up with incomplete thoughts, instead of sentences. Colin's battle cry, "You removed the wrong leg!" was because we still have no yellow. Colin said, "The room is painted mauve," and, naturally, that was because the yellow was gone. Brad kept mourning the loss of yellow til Colin yelled to him, "Get a hold of yourself, Testiclees!" Then Colin drew his next sentence, looked at Brad rather...sheepishly...and said he had an odd request. "Do you have an extra tampon?" He planned to use it to plug a 4th hole he'd found in his bowling ball. Brad said yes, indeed, he did have an extra one. The "extra" part kept giving both of them the giggles. Later, Brad pulled, "I have a mouse in my pocket," and he demonstrated, looked at it occasionally, and even fed it cheese. Silly stuff. He also got a couple of the best lines and milked them beautifully. First, "No, I am not a lesbian," then he held up a finger like "wait for it" then continued, "But I am a Canadian." ("Like Celine Dion and Anne Murray.") And finally, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy!" Yeehaw!

Brad then did a Rap to Rob, who cuts wood, apparently for fun, goes pond fishing, collects old MAC trucks, and whose wife calls him Rube. "MC Rube" did okay. His co-dancers were Joe, who was wearing red snakeskin boots and thus earned a line or two during the rap, and, coincidentally, another Brad. At the end of the song, Colin asked us to give a special hand for the "White Man Dancers." Oh yeah, they danced like middle-aged white men, all right. Whoo boy.

For Sound Effects, Tony came up for Colin and Allison for Brad. The scene was in a steakhouse, where Brad sliced a cat instead of meat, then somehow started a fire. Eventually, after trying to warn people with their gay Brokeback Bullhorn, and attempting to put out the fire with a teeny tiny hose, they managed to put the fire out with the steaks, cooking them at the same time. Then they had a belching contest and a farting contest. Colin's noise prompted him to call it "Brokeback Fountain." Thanks for that image.

"Jerry and the Gorton's Fisherman" helped set up the last game, Mousetraps. Colin and Brad nailed each other pretty well, in addition to ruining their toes. Brad picked up two traps and, when he tried to throw one at Colin, the other snapped on his fingers. Colin got a damn good shot at Brad, hitting and snapping his ear. Brad assured him, "God will get you for that!" The audience loved that, and the whole show, and showed their love with a standing ovation. As usual.